What is the craziest discussion you've heard/held at the smoke-pit? (Deployed and/or Home-Station)

As a brand new PSG, first day on the job and supervising an extra duty SPC, he thought it pertinent to inform me (he was worried someone else would tell me first) that his wife had two uterus'.

any story that starts with: 'So there I was, no $h!t....'

During the late 90's I was in AIT at Fort Gordon GA, there was an incident during the Sunday morning accountability formation after our first "phase" where we were allowed to go off post. During opening formation my battle buddy is nowhere to be found. A short time later a GSA vehicle drives up on the sidewalk and onto the concrete pad directly in front of our Battalion formation. A full-bird Colonel steps out of the passenger side and opens the rear door. *Pvt Snuffy* steps out in nothing but boxers, white tee, socks and his dog tags carrying his shoes and jeans.
Later that day as I walk out of the barracks, I see my battle buddy smoking with our Drill Sergeant. Obviously curious, since trainees are not allowed to smoke, I walked over to them. As I get close, I hear my battle buddy telling the story from the events of opening formation. Long story short, my battle buddy went home with a woman from the bar on Saturday night. Early Sunday morning, as he gets out of the woman's bed, he walks into the latrine only to find the earlier mentioned Colonel shaving. The woman he went home with turned out to be the Colonel's daughter who was home from college for the summer. As Pvt Snuffy told it, the Col. made Pvt Snuffy stay in his current state of undress at the position of attention while the Col. finished getting ready. He then escorted Pvt Snuffy back to the Company Area, dropping Pvt Snuffy off for formation.
The Drill Sgt apparently thought *Pvt Snuffy* deserved a smoke in exchange for his story.