Should I go to ILE and separate from my wife or should we both get out of the Army?

That is a very personal decision that only you and your wife can make.

My wife and I, back when I was in, were ok with family separation for deployment or unaccompanied assignments. I would never volunteer to be away from the family.

Perhaps create other choices like; the entire family goes to ILE.

If this is a question, perhaps getting out of the Army is the right choice for you and your family.

I like responding before reading what others have written. You not your wife must decide what your goal/what you want in the next couple of years. ILE is a big commitment and not in the best location in my opinion and you have to think about the additional ADSO. Have you thought of trying to do one of the other service schools ILE programs as a compromise? I have made many sacrifices in the name of my career, some I wouldn't take back, but some I would. BLUF those sacrifices got me promoted to E8 and subsequent OCS and two company commands. I say that not to brag but to tell you all good things come with some form of sacrifice. In the end it is about what you want. I have known guy/gals who got out of the military for a spouse and the spouse left them and they are now stuck in civ career that they hate or they are trying to get back into the military. No easy answer to your question and can share more with you if you want to inbox me. Wish you the best my brother!