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PTSD
Health
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Honestly i have closed myself off, every trip to town is a breakdown waiting to happen, most times i feel like we should have bumper stickers on our vehicles that give a surgeon general warning. about following combat veterans to closely could be hazardous to your health.
mostly i found writing helps, but for me writing something real just doesn't help so i am writing sci-fi,
mostly i found writing helps, but for me writing something real just doesn't help so i am writing sci-fi,
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SSG Benny Stewart
I've went as fare as fist to cuff on mine, cant stand a crowd, Had to have a DR. to get some help, and some days is very bad i found talking help me some
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SGT Kevin Gardner
You know regardless of our problems we all have to keep our heads and our tempers under control. The fact that we carry the label Veteran means we should be above board with all our interactions, society can be a real mother and when one of us goes to far in their (society) eyes we are all at fault. We know it's not true but you can't expect a civi to understand.
Hell I kept trying to explain to this waitress why I wanted to sit in the back of the resteraunt and she just couldn't understand.
Hell I kept trying to explain to this waitress why I wanted to sit in the back of the resteraunt and she just couldn't understand.
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SSG William Patton
My wife saved my life. I met her soon after returning from Vietnam. She put up with the drinking, the nightmares, the flashbacks. She held me and loved me and eventually I was able to cope somewhat. It never goes away. We just have to learn how to cope without destroying ourselves. Hug your family every day. God Bless you and thank you for serving this great nation.
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I almost ended up in the ground. I was retiered in October of 2012 and by May of 2013 i was about to end my life when my wife came upstairs. Where i went wrong:
1. I defined my self as PTSD
2. I closed my self off to the whole world if you were not a Veteran then i could not talk to you and you where the enemy.
3. I took every pill the VA gave me with out questions; it was a gallon zip lock bag full wish i still had the picture to show.
4. I had it in my mind i was not going to get better. (i was told this by multiple VA dotors on multiple occasions)
The things i did to start to deal with life on life terms.
1 Stoped letting PTSD define who i was
2. to use the coping skills i learned at the OASIS program
3. Started to slowly go out of my comfort zone.
4. Started to get involved with other Orgs like Team RWB, Warrior Pointe
5. Started to make friends with Civilians to help get rid of the Us VS them attitude.
6. Still go to my therapy appointments
7. Recognize that i will have my bad days but dont let them hold me back.
There are more things that i cant think of for both sections.
1. I defined my self as PTSD
2. I closed my self off to the whole world if you were not a Veteran then i could not talk to you and you where the enemy.
3. I took every pill the VA gave me with out questions; it was a gallon zip lock bag full wish i still had the picture to show.
4. I had it in my mind i was not going to get better. (i was told this by multiple VA dotors on multiple occasions)
The things i did to start to deal with life on life terms.
1 Stoped letting PTSD define who i was
2. to use the coping skills i learned at the OASIS program
3. Started to slowly go out of my comfort zone.
4. Started to get involved with other Orgs like Team RWB, Warrior Pointe
5. Started to make friends with Civilians to help get rid of the Us VS them attitude.
6. Still go to my therapy appointments
7. Recognize that i will have my bad days but dont let them hold me back.
There are more things that i cant think of for both sections.
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5 years of therapy through the VA just pushed me further down the rabbit hole. I take so many meds that they are starting to worry about my kidneys. Finally I got involved with a group of men from church who took me in, listened, encouraged, and loved me through my most unlovable phases. With their help, I am driving again, socializing, getting involved, etc. I still have hypervigilance and nightmares, but as where 5 years ago I tried to commit suicide, now I am starting to really live again!
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CDR Michael Goldschmidt
Keep up the good fight, Joshua. You're on a good path. Veterans' retreats can help, too.
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It is interesting topic because my wife suffers PTSD from sexual assault. I suffer a form of it from submarine duty. Most people think PTSD only comes from combat but that is not the only way. Submariners, at least during the Cold War and before, were on alert 24/7 for months on end. So the symptoms are the hyper-vigilance, reacting to changes in sounds (sign something has gone wrong somewhere) things like that. Yes, I have flashbacks and nightmares. They have gotten more frequent as I get older. Funny thing is there were only 2 or 3 times I feared for my life and thought we were going to sink to the bottom like a rock.
Apparently this is different from "normal" PTSD because it is primarily over a long period of time under stress. Lot of factors involved that are unique to a submariner.
How do I deal with it? Nowdays, breathe in breathe out. Recently I was under my house working and suddenly I was trapped in the bilge on a submarine. Luckily my wife was there saying exactly that. Breathe in breathe out. Only lasted a few seconds but left me shaking. It was just so darn real. Yet I never had fear of closed spaces. Still don't. So weird.
I don't do drugs legal or otherwise not even alcohol. Quit smoking years ago. The only time I'm really bothered is in crowded places like stores. Being packed in with people causes me to get freaked out. I used to hit up the gum machine when I went into a store. Those chiclets thingies. My family called it my happy pills. I'd chew them to death in stores. But there comes a point in time when I just have to go outside and be away from everyone but my family. Thus I have come to love Amazon Prime! I get even my toilet paper delivered to my front door! :D
Apparently this is different from "normal" PTSD because it is primarily over a long period of time under stress. Lot of factors involved that are unique to a submariner.
How do I deal with it? Nowdays, breathe in breathe out. Recently I was under my house working and suddenly I was trapped in the bilge on a submarine. Luckily my wife was there saying exactly that. Breathe in breathe out. Only lasted a few seconds but left me shaking. It was just so darn real. Yet I never had fear of closed spaces. Still don't. So weird.
I don't do drugs legal or otherwise not even alcohol. Quit smoking years ago. The only time I'm really bothered is in crowded places like stores. Being packed in with people causes me to get freaked out. I used to hit up the gum machine when I went into a store. Those chiclets thingies. My family called it my happy pills. I'd chew them to death in stores. But there comes a point in time when I just have to go outside and be away from everyone but my family. Thus I have come to love Amazon Prime! I get even my toilet paper delivered to my front door! :D
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PO1 Donald Hammond
No stress like the boat sinking like a rock with no electric power and everyone yelling at you to get power back while the Chief of the Watch can't seem to find the "chicken switches" (Emergency Blow). Of course officially we never exceeded any depth limits.
That is when all the training comes to the forefront and you do what is necessary to save the boat and the other 150 people on board.
That is when all the training comes to the forefront and you do what is necessary to save the boat and the other 150 people on board.
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CDR Michael Goldschmidt
Combat related, or should I say military related, PTSD is like that, EM1, whether afloat or ashore. It has more to do with living under constant hazard, usually, than from any single incident, although there may be incidents, too. One of my many moments was when I was in the Wardroom for lunch one day during the Cold War and the MOOW brings the CO a manila envelope, which contains a picture of our ship in the crosshairs of an SSN's attack scope. Life changed for me that day. We could be dead at any time, with no advanced warning whatsoever. It a US submarine could shoot us undetected, there was a really good chance a Soviet one could do the same. I forgot about that incident for 25 years, but remembered it during some of my PTSD work. We chose a hazardous profession.
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CDR Michael Goldschmidt
By the way, being dragged out of the Helo Dunker, blindfolded, by Navy divers is a lot like getting caught, submerged, with no power, and sinking, although you're already wet. There's fear and helplessness, the two essential ingredients for PTSD.
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PO1 Donald Hammond
Funny thing is during those moments like that, I know I was focused on doing what I had to do. Later when I found out how deep we had gone and how close we were to not coming back, it sank in. But at the time I was just proud of what I had done.
I was on boomers originally until I read a report that talked about the survival time of each type of combat unit (from infantry boots all the way to air craft carriers) during an all out nuke war. Boomers at that time would get 1 missile off and USSR would know where we were. Get 2nd missile off and they were launching one back. 3rd missile away and BOOM we were dead. So I went to 688 fast attack which is the only unit it said had "indefinite" for life expectancy. All depended on how good the crew was.
I always thought it was funny to sit around and hear skimmer folks tell us how easy they could find subs when we would have to do something to be found. How annoying to be trying to sleep and have that constant sonar pinging going on as we were "hunted".
On the other hand we had pictures of Soviet subs on the surface. They could not find us unless we did something really stupid.
I was on boomers originally until I read a report that talked about the survival time of each type of combat unit (from infantry boots all the way to air craft carriers) during an all out nuke war. Boomers at that time would get 1 missile off and USSR would know where we were. Get 2nd missile off and they were launching one back. 3rd missile away and BOOM we were dead. So I went to 688 fast attack which is the only unit it said had "indefinite" for life expectancy. All depended on how good the crew was.
I always thought it was funny to sit around and hear skimmer folks tell us how easy they could find subs when we would have to do something to be found. How annoying to be trying to sleep and have that constant sonar pinging going on as we were "hunted".
On the other hand we had pictures of Soviet subs on the surface. They could not find us unless we did something really stupid.
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I have delt with PTSD both as a patient and a psychologist. While I do not believe that we have found the best solution, I do know that the worst thing we can do is nothing. I am currently working on a research group of neurologists, psychologists and psychiatrists trying to determine the root cause of post traumatic stress from a neurological standpoint. We are making good progress with our Lymbic system studies and hopefully that will lead to more effective treatments in the future. Until then I encourage all who are still suffering to not give up
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SGT Bobbi Schroeder
CDR Michael Goldschmidt, you are correct. WE understand what each of us went through. Even though we may have had different experiences, served in different teams, or at different times, but over all we get what each of us are going through.
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PO1 Donald Hammond
I have watched my wife who has severe PTSD from sexual assaults, child abuse, and rape go through it. It is survivable. She used to tell me she was not going to come out of it alive. Now we are celebrating our 39th anniversary. The road is hard and long for everyone involved. I had to learn to absorb a lot of her anger and hurt as she blew up at me for things others had done to her. I think that is one of the most important things in treatment. Finding somebody who is willing to go through it with you offering no judgements and realizing that the pain speaks loudly.
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PV2 Violet Case
I sometimes look at life as this picture because it is surely not an easy road to travel and often times we travel it alone because many civilians do not understand and some don't even act like they want to understand it. My friends care more about it then my family.,
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I wouldn't say I had gotten full on PTSD, but mostly depression, which I believe is a form of PTSD. There had been quite a few instances of anger and anxiety though. Honestly I can say it's ruined my life. I can't hold a job, can't keep up in college, and have literally no direction in life. I am horribly out of shape now, and there is no structure. I am terribly anti-social when it comes to real life interaction, and I generally stay away from most people. The only way I have ever dealt with it was just by watching movies, surfing the internet, and playing video games. I know it's a rather pathetic life, but it's something. I've been considering reenlisting since military life is the only life I know. I was generally content in the military, and had a sense of purpose. I tried VA counseling and medication, and it really didn't help. It's like they don't care to understand. Maybe they do, but I didn't see it.
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CDR Michael Goldschmidt
What you describe, Jess, IS full-on PTSD. Welcome to the club. The reason the medication doesn't help is that your depression is only a symptom, not the cause. I thought for years that I had depression, only to find out is was PTSD. Please seek out other vets. It is only through each other that we heal. That's been a secret about PTSD for thousands of years, although warriors didn't know what it was back then. Also, PLEASE understand, that what you're feeling is completely normal under the circumstances. PTSD kills! Please don't let it kill you!
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LT,
I find it to be a constant struggle on an epic level. Like the waves one the beach you never know what your going to get calm waters or 10-15 waves crashing down on you. Some days I have to shut my door and meditate so I don't flip tables. The problem is PTDS is now a scapegoat for the soldiers who want a quick way out of there service. Because I've seen these solider with one deployment far from the lines and diffently never seen what I've seen complain they can't do their job because their issues PLEASE!
I find it to be a constant struggle on an epic level. Like the waves one the beach you never know what your going to get calm waters or 10-15 waves crashing down on you. Some days I have to shut my door and meditate so I don't flip tables. The problem is PTDS is now a scapegoat for the soldiers who want a quick way out of there service. Because I've seen these solider with one deployment far from the lines and diffently never seen what I've seen complain they can't do their job because their issues PLEASE!
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SSG William Patton
First Sergeant, do not over generalize and make a mistake that costs someone actually with the disorder from checking out. There will always be malingerers, but then there are also those, like me, who have it bad, but still managed to lead a productive life. It took compassion and love for that to happen. I was lucky enough to get that. Not all are as lucky as I was.
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CDR Michael Goldschmidt
I wouldn't want malingerers serving with me, anyway, Top, so maybe it is for the best. Understand, however, that it's not necessary to be on the lines, to kill, or to be otherwise wounded to get PTSD. My first PTSD incident was in preflight training as an Ensign, with another sitting in a training jet which was leaking liquid oxygen. Many who serve on ships get PTSD. Being exposed to constant threat in a foreign country can do it to you, too. I experienced these many things, long before I found my boots on the ground in Afghanistan. It is very important not to dismiss the stress in others.
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Oddly enough I actually work with my two horses. Working them keeps me busy while riding them is relaxing. I honestly look forward every day coming home and taking care of them. They always seem to know how to take all your worries away.
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