Civilians get divorced at a higher rate than the military. Did military service strengthen or ruin your marriage?

It was pretty close to love at first sight. I met my Filipina girl friend Late November 1969 three days later my ship, USS Sanctuary went back to Vietnam. Over the next six months we were together less than twenty days we did write weekly letters. I took my R & R to Manila for one last fling with my girl friend. We stayed at the Pines Hotel in Baguio when I ask "Marry me" She laughed I said again "Marry me" this time brought tears. Two days later we were married. Our love is still growing after 46 years. Divorce was never a thought. I only had two deployment (total 20 months). Great Navy wife she is.................

I'm hard to live with any way. But for spouse to have to adust even few years because of reassignmental or deployment they have to be special. Unfortunately after 4 times across the altar I've been 4 times thru the court room for divorce.

Was married for 44+ years before my wife passed away in 09. She put up with me my last 19 years in the Army and then retirement,

Added strength to mine.

When most of the folks in my age bracket got married, civilian and military, we had the mind set that you worked at your marriage. Of course it helped to have a spouse that was of the same mind. As far as our marriage while in the Navy, it gave us opportunities to grow together as a couple and as a family. We had some really hard times and had to make really hard decisions but as I said, we grew from them and celebrated our 46th anniversary this year and have 2 grown sons and 3 grand kids to share our senior years with.

I was married three times and if you was to ask them, each of them would tell you that the military was the reason we got divorced. I disagreed then and do to this day. I, (as some people claimed, spoiled them) was told as a young man that when you are married you should always treat your wife as if she was still your date. No, I didn't leave them at their parents place, lol. I tried to make sure we had a date night at least three to four times a month, even if it was me making a lunch or dinner and we spent a few hours at a park or by the lake, river or some nice place just the two of us. I did laundry, dishes, even cooked on weekends & holidays, could through one heck of a GI party at the house too so it was cleaned 90% of the time while I was around.
Yes we spent a lot of time apart, it's part of the military as you know. There is deployments, FTX's, CQ, Staff Duty, Schools and the list goes on. For the longest time I just knew there was something I did wrong and that's why the marriage's went wrong. "I wasn't fare off with that thought either, I just couldn't figure it out. My second & third wife I let them know that the military will always come before them and I do not plan on getting out until I have 20-30 years in, before we got married. I didn't with the first wife because, well, we met in high school and I didn't know I was going to like the lifestyle before it happened.
The time that each of them complained that we was apart, they forgot one important thing, it was a "WE" situation but they only thought of themselves not us. I was not out with the guys having the time of my life and was also in areas that I knew little if anything about most of the time. With each of them like so many others in the military, I got blindsided when I found out they was no longer alone. yes it happened before me and hate to say it, it's going to be going on after long after I'm no longer, it's part of life.
One nice thing, if you can call it that is, each of them asked, "If they could come back", after they found out that the grass wasn't as green as they thought on the other side. So I got to tell them my answer that they didn't enjoy but had to know it was coming. But I've figured out that the thing I was doing wrong was, Picking the wrong ones to marry. The part about spoiling them, may be true? To me I do not think so just like I do not believe the military had anything to do with them finding a boyfriend to give them something to do while I was doing my job. Morals, Self-respect, Team Work as well as a few other important things is what makes a marriage work no matter if you're military or civilian.
Note: for you thinking about getting married... Never do something to your spouse that wouldn't be okay for them to do to you. Just like life, once it's done you can not take it back and "sorry" doesn't fix everything...

I was in the Air Force for 8 years and the Army for another 8. The Air Force brought us together and the Army broke us up...

Marrying a BAR GIRL from Korea ruined the marrage,she was a "Runarounfd Sue"

I used to explain away my first two divorces on the rigors of military service. My shortest (and last) failed marriage was a year after I got out and lasted nine months. Maybe I'm the problem not the Navy?

Didn't help. I didn't get married til after I got out. Unfortunately, there was this thing called P.T.S.D. that reared its head. There was the drinking and the violent outbursts ( Not physical, just vocal ). No way it would last and she bailed. Some time after it ended, P.T.S.D. came to light.