Posted on Oct 13, 2020
Can an Officer who married an Enlisted Soldier get into trouble?
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An officer met an enlisted soldier and they began dating not knowing they both served.
They choose to keep military affiliation to themselves in the beginning. When they finally discussed it they already really liked each other and since they were in different battalions, didn’t see an issue with it and continued to date. Recently they got married.
They choose to keep military affiliation to themselves in the beginning. When they finally discussed it they already really liked each other and since they were in different battalions, didn’t see an issue with it and continued to date. Recently they got married.
Posted in these groups: 
UCMJ
UCMJ
Posted 4 y ago
Responses: 16
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How can either one of them not know they both served? The BS meter is hitting the red zone.
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The answer depends on what component and what branch of service each are in. But, as a Senior NCO I am surprised you don't know where to find the answer for this for Army
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SFC (Join to see)
I’ve read the regs and understand the portion that pertains to a dating/intimate relationship but none of them specify once they are married......
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SFC Kelly Fuerhoff
SFC (Join to see) - It is in AR 600-20. I posted the section on fraternization and it addresses marriage between officer and enlisted.
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SFC (Join to see)
SFC (Join to see) in the last DA Pam it didn't address the marriage portion. The legal stance was that it's not illegal to marry who you want but it can be fraternization to date them. Thankfully the newest update addresses that specifically
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I will point you to Army Pubs. AR 3481-35 Relationships Between Soldiers of Different Ranks
https://armypubs.army.mil/epubs/DR_pubs/DR_a/pdf/web/ARN3481_p600_35_WEB_FINAL.pdf
https://armypubs.army.mil/epubs/DR_pubs/DR_a/pdf/web/ARN3481_p600_35_WEB_FINAL.pdf
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LTC Jason Mackay
SFC (Join to see) AR600-20 is the regulation. DA PAM 600-35 has the amplification and clarification. Also I am assuming the original post is from the "Enlisted" in the situation. Seeing ARNG on your profile, generally the loosest standard applies. However, if the officer in this is a different branch, the other services do not make the Reserve Component distinction AR600-20 and the DA Pam do. The sister service regulation controlling that officer would apply without mitigation. If the officer is AD Army, they are further constrained. It also matters if the two were both enlisted and in a relationship, and one was commissioned after the fact. Had a Company Commander wife, and First Sergeant husband (in another unit) due to this circumstance with no issues.
What it boils down to is if there is a real or perceived threat to good order of discipline or an improper relationship, the Commander can take action. Recommend they collectively seek legal counsel. Certainly before there is an implosion at a unit social function where the significant other is recognized despite them Being in a "different BN." The different unit thing was largely superseded in the late nineties when the regulation was formalized.
I don't know about that neither knew...not one question about why you aren't around this weekend, or two weeks in the summer? No discussions about their lives and experiences of a potential spouse? All TA50, uniforms, plaques, decorations, insignia so hidden they go undetected? Never glanced at a wallet while it's out with an ID card sticking out?
What it boils down to is if there is a real or perceived threat to good order of discipline or an improper relationship, the Commander can take action. Recommend they collectively seek legal counsel. Certainly before there is an implosion at a unit social function where the significant other is recognized despite them Being in a "different BN." The different unit thing was largely superseded in the late nineties when the regulation was formalized.
I don't know about that neither knew...not one question about why you aren't around this weekend, or two weeks in the summer? No discussions about their lives and experiences of a potential spouse? All TA50, uniforms, plaques, decorations, insignia so hidden they go undetected? Never glanced at a wallet while it's out with an ID card sticking out?
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SFC (Join to see)
LTC Jason Mackay I’m sure they had some clue but maybe choose to ok ire it?
They are both AD
They are both AD
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SPC Nate Lamphier
I know a guy who was an E-5....dated (now married) a lower ranking Soldier. He knew the consequences but he chose love over his military career. They got "discovered" and they were both busted down in rank. They both ended up getting out but he ultimately made his rank back before that.
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