Things my Dad taught me. My Dad, like so many of his Generation that were born before the First World War, went through the Depression, and then lived through the Second World War- he didn't talk much. And with a houseful of ten kids, he had to work...hard.

Everyone in a while though, he would speak. And we would listen. So here are some of my Dad's sayings:

"Kevin, remember the other guy thinks he is right too."

Nobody in my Family swore or cursed when I was a kid. In fact, I had never heard my Father swear in my entire life. And Mom, only once, and that is when a Cop hassled my Dad over a Stop sign hidden by a tree. She said: "Damn him."

We stared open mouthed at her. That was the maddest I ever saw my Mom. So why didn't we swear? Or curse? Because Dad wouldn't have it. He used to tell us this:

"If someone is angry with you, or fighting with you over something and they start to swear...leave. Because once they start swearing that means they don't have the words to express their feelings or emotions anymore...so all that is left is physical violence. If they swear at you, or curse you, their only next step is to hurt you. So if you can't calm them down, calmly walk away. If you swear, you just speed the process up. "

I had to join the Army to learn to swear. LOL And I wonder what my Dad would make of the current crop of people where the F- word is an adjective, noun, verb, and space filler. Almost meaningless to younger ears. Still grates on mine though.

I wrestled my Senior year (I was the last guy cut from the Basketball Team, so I had to do something active. LOL) I sucked. Two of my best HS buddies were on that Team, and they were really good. So after weigh in, about a half dozen Wrestlers would show up at our house to stuff their faces.

My Dad made these little squares of toasted bread with cheese and bacon, and my buddies and I pounded them down by the dozen. My Dad would just quietly make batch after batch for everyone. One time, after they all left to get ready for the match- I asked my Dad why he never joined in the conversation. He laughed (another rarity).

"Kevin, you kids are filled with energy. It is just nice to sit back and listen to your conversations. I only join conversations if you say what you think, or think about what you say."

I was a typical know it all Teenager. I was mad at my Dad once, so I told him he didn't love me. Well, the room cleared. Sisters and Brother's dove for doorways, and Mom closed the door to the kitchen and left me alone with Dad.

Then he explained how Parents love all their Children. In a way that I wouldn't understand until I became a Father. He didn't stop there. He told me this bit of his Philosophy:

"Kevin, you have nine living brothers and sisters. For one or two of those siblings, we are the perfect parents. Their personalities, and likes and dislikes align with your Mother and me. Then for three or four more of your brother's and sisters, we are pretty good parent. Later in life they will come home for Holidays or just a visit, not because of tradition or rules, but because they like seeing Mom and Dad. For a couple of your brother's and sisters, we are good parents. They aren't too concerned with us... or our lives. Then, for one or two others, we are just a safe place to sleep until they can move on with their lives.

Your Mother and I love all of you. You don't have to love us back. We want you to know you always can come home. Some of you will often, others only once in a while, and some will only come when they need help. We don't care what the reason is...we are glad you are here. "

And I think I will close with this one. I had a friend who didn't keep his promises. After a while it bugged me so much I went to my Dad for advice.

He listened. (I think my Dad was one of the great listeners of all time! He sure as all heck wasn't a talker!)

"Kevin, people can say anything, and they often do. Don't listen. Watch. What they do will tell you more than anything they could say. If he says he will show up, and he doesn't...that should tell you what his word means. Once in a while there is a reason for what they did, but more often, and more likely, it is just an excuse. You can forgive a reason, you can't forgive excuses. "

And that was a glimpse into my Dad's life. A man who maybe spoke a thousand words in his life.