I bet you never thought about Basic Training teaching people how to be Friends. And...how to talk to people. I sure didn't. Nor did I think of learning how to march in formation as the impetus to learn partner dancing. Until this morning... I met a young man who went into the Army at 19, got out when he was 23. Now he is a 25 year old young man who teaches Swing and Country dancing. So sit back and hear from a young Soldier...how the Army taught him to both be a regular guy AND aware of community.
These are my own recollections of our talk. I didn't record it...although I should have. But I didn't want to interrupt the flow , and he was saying one profound thing after another...and wasn't even aware of it. I ...was.
He just got out of the Service a few years back. I asked him why he joined. (NOTE: Everyone who has served in the last several decades VOLUNTEERED- no Draft. These kids wanted to join!)
He laughed.
When I was 19 I was a geek. I was a die hard Gamer. I looked at High School as an interruption. I didn't have many friends in real life. All my buddies, and my girlfriend were Gamers. People I had never met, but grew up with online. One of the girls and I hit it off...and for two years she was my girl. Never met her in person, just IM's and Gaming live chat. So one day my "team" decides we should all meet. His Dad had a house near the beach. We all that was cool. So five guys and three girls all showed up at Beach House. It was a disaster. It turns out in Real life, we didn't look like, talk like, or smell like we thought each other would.
Avatars aren't people. One of the girls said that we didn't smell right, and she was gone. By the end of the first day, only three of us stayed the night. Two days later, and the house was empty. I knew these folks online for years...and yet when we met in person...well, we didn't know how to handle the little things. How people talked, what they smelled like, how they dressed. The way they ate or drank...one guy smacked his lips after every sip of a beer. It drove us crazy. Outside of Gaming, we had no idea what to talk about...or do. It shook me up bad. And my girl...well, she didn't want to touch me. I gave her a hug, and felt awkward as heck.
So I joined the Army. "
"Wow! Why?"
"Because I realized I didn't know much about Life. I could figure out almost anything about computers, software, hardware, connectivity...had those down pat. But that experience at the house showed me how out of touch I was really. I could text and message a girl, and think I loved her, and then I didn't even know how to hold hands when I met her in real life.
So I figured the Army would teach me how to live with folks who don't dress like me, smell like, me eat like me, or move around like I do."
Man oh man, this kid was smart. He grew up being a perfect guy ...online. Knew the rules the subtle social codes of what to say, or not. And yet, he knew something was missing. Life. LOL
"So how did that work out?"
"Basic was a bitch. I thought I was in pretty good shape. I wasn't fat, or lazy, or weak. But I never really made fitness a priority. I rode my bike mostly and went swimming once in a while. The Army makes you exercise every day. I hated it ...at first, but by the end of Basic I had put on 10 pounds of muscle and had a stronger body. I even had abs!"
We laughed. I patted my belly. "I had them too, once." We laughed again. then he continued on:
"In Basic we had to work with each other. We changed squad leaders sometimes twice a day, since none of knew how to Lead, or even follow. By the third week, Squad leaders started to last more than a day. All of us started to learn how to get along, or get something done. By four weeks, well, we learned to use each other's strengths to make our Squad better. Then we kinda learned to work with the other Squads too. And then we marched and marched and marched. I got pretty good at that, and used to call Cadence for our Platoon.
And then it was over.
I went home a different guy. I had a few days Leave after AIT, and my Mom was surprised when I got up early and went for a run. That made me laugh. "
"Well, how did you become a Dance Instructor?"
He smiled a shy smile.
"Well I was pretty good at Marching. So I got on a Drill Team for our Post. One of the guys there ran a Swing Class after Duty hours. So I went. I was hooked right from the start. It was like learning to march, you have to be aware of the beat, your feet and the guys on either side. Just with dancing, you are holding a girl, and your steps and hers have to match. So I kept going to the Dance Lessons."
I wish I could have talked to that young man more. I really wanted to know more about what Basic was like now. He went to Basic just six years ago, I went fifty years ago...and yet he seemed to learn pretty much what I did. Got torn down and then rebuilt as a Soldier. But I already knew how to play and get along with people before I got in the Army. He had to learn that in Basic. LOL