Posted on Dec 6, 2015
Does anyone else have their adult children living with them?
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The reason I ask this question is because I was blessed with five children, two daughters and three sons, and out of these five wonderful kids, all grown-ups now, I have been also blessed with ten beautiful grand-children. For the most part, all are doing very well and have great successful jobs. But for some unknown reason, one of those freaking moments of weakness, I let my youngest one, my 27 year old son talk me into living here with me. Now, every time I turn around, this little shit is in my pocket. He’s always stepping into shit and when he does, it’s a real mess. Has anyone else made this fu-king mistake or am I the only idiot that has done this? Just wondering? WTF-Over?
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Posted 9 y ago
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CPT Jack Durish our adult sons lived with us at times until they got married or had a place of there own. We live in the DC suburbs where housing and apartments are expensive for young people with low income.
I got to know many sheriff's deputies while our sons were growing up. I knew some of them from church and political involvement as well. A SWAT team showed up as I was sitting down to watch a crime drama. Since I knew the team members they took off their masks out of view of everybody else and showed me evidence of drug manufacture, etc. One of the sons was in jail by that point. I knew he was dealing but also knew if I turned him in it would devastate his mother.
I do my best to do what God tells me to do and have grown to recognize His "voice." That evening He told me to let this particular son use the family car [only well functioning car we had]. That evening that son was arrested in a sting operation and the car impounded for a month or so. The son went to prison for a time and accepted Christ as his savior when he and a friend of mine shared a cell in the local jail. They started talking about God and both believe that was their point of salvation. This was in 2011. This was a fulfillment of part of God's promise to me on October 2008 that all four of my sons would be saved.
COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen C. SMSgt Minister Gerald A. Thomas SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" TSgt John Temblador, PI, CIPA SSgt (Join to see) SSgt Alex Robinson SGT (Join to see) SGT Randal Groover SGT Forrest Stewart SGT Robert Hawks SPC (Join to see) PO2 Steven Erickson
I got to know many sheriff's deputies while our sons were growing up. I knew some of them from church and political involvement as well. A SWAT team showed up as I was sitting down to watch a crime drama. Since I knew the team members they took off their masks out of view of everybody else and showed me evidence of drug manufacture, etc. One of the sons was in jail by that point. I knew he was dealing but also knew if I turned him in it would devastate his mother.
I do my best to do what God tells me to do and have grown to recognize His "voice." That evening He told me to let this particular son use the family car [only well functioning car we had]. That evening that son was arrested in a sting operation and the car impounded for a month or so. The son went to prison for a time and accepted Christ as his savior when he and a friend of mine shared a cell in the local jail. They started talking about God and both believe that was their point of salvation. This was in 2011. This was a fulfillment of part of God's promise to me on October 2008 that all four of my sons would be saved.
COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen C. SMSgt Minister Gerald A. Thomas SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" TSgt John Temblador, PI, CIPA SSgt (Join to see) SSgt Alex Robinson SGT (Join to see) SGT Randal Groover SGT Forrest Stewart SGT Robert Hawks SPC (Join to see) PO2 Steven Erickson
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LTC Stephen F.
SGT (Join to see) - I turned my sons over to the Lord many years ago. He knows exactly what to do to bring each of us to recognize our need for Him. His approach is perfect which mine is not. I share your hope for your daughter to recognize she needs God.
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SGT (Join to see)
LTC Stephen F., Thank you. I hope so much she finds God soon, and He gets her life back on the right track.
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SPC (Join to see)
yeah my youngest daughters can't get a job that pays enough to support herself so she still sponges off of dear old dad well at least I got to a graduated from college and they got good jobs and still have one at home in high school he'll probably sponge off of me too for a couple years
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I feel your pain, Sgt David G Duchesneau. I have my 28 yr old daughter and 3 yr old grandson here with my two younger boys (24 w/ autism and 17).
I love my children and would die for them, but the current situation exists ONLY because I worry about my grandson's safety if I boot his ungrateful immature mom to the f'ing street. Wait... Did that thought bubble burst?
"Tough Love" becomes "Oh, Crap, What Do I Do Now" when there's children involved.
I love my children and would die for them, but the current situation exists ONLY because I worry about my grandson's safety if I boot his ungrateful immature mom to the f'ing street. Wait... Did that thought bubble burst?
"Tough Love" becomes "Oh, Crap, What Do I Do Now" when there's children involved.
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SGT (Join to see)
TSgt Hunter Logan, It's a little different when you have kids involved, but after they are grown and keep digging their hole deeper, it's time to close your bank and give them that tough love. Otherwise, like you wrote, you are empowering them to continue to sponge off of you. Like I wrote about my daughter, it is now her time for tough love from all of her family. She has to grow up and become responsible for her own loser actions and problems. I'm D-O-N-E, stick a fork in me, and so is my wife.
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SFC Terry Fortune
Nope, Both are married off. but live close by. Just got grandkids here at the house, and loving it.
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CMSgt John Momaney
This seems to be happening more and more to parents. Is tough love the answer? Are you obligated to take care of them if you have the means to? It seems what ever decision you make there are pro's and con's. My son and his family are living with us. I love them dearly but my wife and myself have had to adjust our retirement plans to do this. I see no end in sight for at least 3 to 4 years. Hopefully we can all remain cool, calm and collected. So far so good.
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PO2 Steven Erickson
I feel your pain, CMSgt John Momaney. Good luck, keep praying, and remember the one key difference between "supporting" and "enabling"... if you're protecting someone from the natural consequences of continuing bad decision-making, you're enabling and it won't help them.
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PO2 Steven Erickson
Me, too, corporal. But... let's assume you have a son. Now, what happens to him if you're in jail and his mom isn't around or capable? What if it's substance abuse or mental health treatment instead of jail? It's a whole different ball of string that way, isn't it?
Other than losing both my parents, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to face, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Being torn between protecting and parenting is a dark, dark place.
Other than losing both my parents, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to face, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Being torn between protecting and parenting is a dark, dark place.
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