Mayor Garcetti Institutes 'Hold-Your-Breath' Mandate In Los Angeles

Satire alert!!
As the Super Bowl approaches, Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti has instituted a citywide "hold-your-breath" order to keep people safe during the big game. "As I said earlier this week when reporters asked me why I wasn't wearing a mask at the NFC Championship game, I was holding my breath, so it was ok," said the Mayor to reporters. "There is a zero percent chance of infection if you're holding your breath. That's just science. That's why today I'm issuing a 'hold-your-breath' mandate. If everyone just holds their breath for 15 days, we'll get through this thing. We're all in this together!"