Sam Goodwin's first day in captivity was one of his worst. "This was the point where I was incredibly terrified," he recalls about his ordeal. "I felt like I had committed suicide but I was still alive."
A few hours earlier, on May 25, 2019, Goodwin was detained at a Syrian army checkpoint in the northeast part of the country. "A truck pulled up and two armed men jumped out and told me to get inside. I did not have a choice," Goodwin says.
Goodwin, from St. Louis, was 30 when he was trapped in Syria's notoriously brutal prison system for 62 days. He's one of the few Americans who have been there and now, after his family and Lebanese intermediaries helped secure his release, he's telling his story.
On his first day, he says, he was shoved into a filthy jail cell, locked inside with nothing but regrets.
"My initial reaction was to reach for the reset button, like when you're playing 'Mario Kart' and you drive off a cliff, but it wasn't a game," he says about the first dark hours. "I will never forget my exact thought and it was: 'Is this where my story ends?'"