Does NORAD Really Track Santa?

Santa has to travel approximately 5,083,000 MPH to deliver all his presents on time, which equates to 1,300 miles a second, fast enough to go from NY to California in 2.5 seconds. Russia's new hyper-sonic Zircon missile is supposed to reach speeds of 6,090 mph for comparison (when it doesn't explode and kill it's development team). Anyways, while radar waves travel at the speed of light, with the speed Santa travels at he would be visible to radar for such a small time that even NORAD's sophisticated sensors would likely rule it out at as a system error.

Similarly, if the US Military were ever forced to try and intercept Santa, we would find ourselves unable to do so. PATRIOT missiles can only go 3,000 MPH at their fastest, and even our terminal phase interceptor missiles like the RIM-174 can only hit speeds of 4,287 mph. That being said, we can still prevent hostile aggression from Santa through our triad of strategic arms and the principles of Mutually Assured Destruction. While Santa theoretically has a devastating first strike capability, our fleet of Ballistic Missile Submarines could still render a devastating retaliatory attack on the North Pole in the event of war.

I mean why else did you think every nation on Earth has SSBN's up there?

Depends on the definition of the word “Really” I would conjecture…

This is a horrible headline. This is just about the history of how they started tracking Santa. Smh.