COVID-19 executes flu d’état, seizes control of US capital

The virulent virus, which has spread across the world with breathtaking speed most of the year, has been circling the power elite in Washington for some time. Despite an ever growing army of airborne revolutionaries over the past months, many in D.C. remained complacent, often refusing to establish even the most rudimentary defenses.

“The president was, as you know, the first of America’s leadership to be attacked by the enemy,” said Dr. Scott Atlas, a member of the Coronavirus Task Force. “And while we thought we had repulsed the virus’s assault on the commander-in-chief, the enemy simply turned our flanks and took out our entire Pentagon leadership by forcing them into a panicked retreat.”