Sunday Firesides: To Have It, You Must Be Able to Do Without It

in: Advice, Character, Sunday Firesides

Brett & Kate McKay • July 27, 2024Sunday Firesides: To Have It, You Must Be Able to Do Without It


Some people have experienced an interesting phenomenon: when they were actively and eagerly looking for a romantic partner, they couldn’t find one; then, once they stopped looking, someone came into their lives.

One of the paradoxes of life is that the more you desire something, the less suited you can be to have it.

A man with an overweening desire for a significant other not only evinces a desperation that’s unattractive to the opposite sex, but, should he manage to land a girlfriend anyway, will seek to hold onto her at any cost, engaging in the kind of subservient behaviors that will curdle the relationship in the end.

A man who must be a success falls prey to making ethically questionable decisions or implementing cringe-inducing strategies that, though they generate short-term gains, will doom his efforts in the long run.

A man who has an immoderate longing to make a friend betrays a neediness that repels the very companions with whom he hopes to connect.

To win and secure the thing you seek, your desire must be potent enough to energize and animate, but not so all-consuming it smothers and corrupts. You must want it, but not need it.

A man is most likely to attract a partner when he already finds his own company companionable.

A man is in the best position to succeed when he can still be happy and whole if he fails.

A man is only fit to have a friend when he can live contentedly without one.