Defense Bill Moving Forward With Measure to Scrub Confederate Names from Bases

Thanks for sharing.

I believe that our adversaries in the Revolutionary War were oppressors that were rightly and justly defeated by American Patriots. As English names are clearly repressive to patriotic Americans everywhere, I propose that we change the names of New York (city and state), New Hampshire, New Jersey, Charleston, Maryland, both Carolinas, Virginia, Jamestown, Yorktown, Georgia, Cambridge, and any other location that bears names derived from English places or monarchs.
That'll fix it.

Worst idea since tofu.