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Some veterans need to hear direct guidance to help them achieve their best. Unfortunately, non-veteran therapists are not going to give it.
5 Things a Non-veteran therapist will never say
Posted from marchonveteran.comPosted in these groups: 
Leadership
PTSD
Politics
11B: Infantryman
Department of Veterans Affairs (VA)
Leadership PTSD Politics 11B: Infantryman Department of Veterans Affairs (VA)
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 12
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Ok excuse my language and to anyone I offend I apologize in advance.
"hat said you will not get better until you pull your head out of your four-point contact and make the decision to improve. Right now, you value yourself based on the amount of suffering you endure, not on the amount that you accomplish. A person that gives themselves permission to be damaged, and accepts their suffering, cannot progress.
I find this repulsive. As veterans, we are supposed to embody selfless service, duty, courage, and honor. None of these characteristics can be found in someone wallowing in self-pity. You are hurting your ability to recover and giving me and your fellow veterans a bad name".
You do NOT get to dictate how long it takes someone to heal from what they've seen, done, or have to let go. While the Army and the other branches are a team, we are all still individuals with feelings, emotion, and a TON of emotional baggage they carry every morning. You DO NOT get to tell me to pull he head out of my ass. Being that should that happen at the wrong time (vet or no vet), me or someone like me who is hurting WILL pull our heads out of our asses and hand you yours. I've been told by docs that I need to move on, and move out. Funny how that sounds a lot better than some half assed comment. Delivery, trust, and repor are three IMPORTANT things the SM needs to build with their Doc. It's the ONLY way you'll crack that head open to new ideas. If you choose not to do them, that hour long session will last less than three minutes as you find your body in as much pain as my mind is. This is also a time to reassure the SM that whille you cannot relate, you are sympathetic to their situation and want to honestly help them with the use of milestones to reach a goal. I've had both military and civilian docs, and they were the most professional individuals I've seen in awhile. One used his 4/25 combat patch as a way to get me talking, and to this day, we still talk on occasion, and I tell him how what he's taught me, I pass on to others. I never game myself "permission" to do shit. I don't justify how I am based off the level of pain I am. It IS what it IS, and I'm trying my ass off to make lemonade out of this. F*CK YOU if you feel this is repulsive. All that other bullsh*t you're running in this article, would make some excellent toilet paper. None of us loose our values, what our branch tells us, or any of that silly bullsh*t you listed. It would seem to me YOU in your self-righteous pompous ass lost YOUR way, and lost YOUR self respect while hiding behind a facade of "look at me I did it". We hurt, we cry, we bleed. We learn, we teach, we listen. THAT'S what separates us from the rest. You can walk down a street and see someone on the ground and walk by. We see one of our own on the ground, we stop, look, and listen. We don't walk past them at any point.
I'd love to meet the author of this. I'd want him to tell me how the hell do you think we're giving a bad name to other vets? This asshole is another reason why SM's who KNOW they need help won't get it.
"hat said you will not get better until you pull your head out of your four-point contact and make the decision to improve. Right now, you value yourself based on the amount of suffering you endure, not on the amount that you accomplish. A person that gives themselves permission to be damaged, and accepts their suffering, cannot progress.
I find this repulsive. As veterans, we are supposed to embody selfless service, duty, courage, and honor. None of these characteristics can be found in someone wallowing in self-pity. You are hurting your ability to recover and giving me and your fellow veterans a bad name".
You do NOT get to dictate how long it takes someone to heal from what they've seen, done, or have to let go. While the Army and the other branches are a team, we are all still individuals with feelings, emotion, and a TON of emotional baggage they carry every morning. You DO NOT get to tell me to pull he head out of my ass. Being that should that happen at the wrong time (vet or no vet), me or someone like me who is hurting WILL pull our heads out of our asses and hand you yours. I've been told by docs that I need to move on, and move out. Funny how that sounds a lot better than some half assed comment. Delivery, trust, and repor are three IMPORTANT things the SM needs to build with their Doc. It's the ONLY way you'll crack that head open to new ideas. If you choose not to do them, that hour long session will last less than three minutes as you find your body in as much pain as my mind is. This is also a time to reassure the SM that whille you cannot relate, you are sympathetic to their situation and want to honestly help them with the use of milestones to reach a goal. I've had both military and civilian docs, and they were the most professional individuals I've seen in awhile. One used his 4/25 combat patch as a way to get me talking, and to this day, we still talk on occasion, and I tell him how what he's taught me, I pass on to others. I never game myself "permission" to do shit. I don't justify how I am based off the level of pain I am. It IS what it IS, and I'm trying my ass off to make lemonade out of this. F*CK YOU if you feel this is repulsive. All that other bullsh*t you're running in this article, would make some excellent toilet paper. None of us loose our values, what our branch tells us, or any of that silly bullsh*t you listed. It would seem to me YOU in your self-righteous pompous ass lost YOUR way, and lost YOUR self respect while hiding behind a facade of "look at me I did it". We hurt, we cry, we bleed. We learn, we teach, we listen. THAT'S what separates us from the rest. You can walk down a street and see someone on the ground and walk by. We see one of our own on the ground, we stop, look, and listen. We don't walk past them at any point.
I'd love to meet the author of this. I'd want him to tell me how the hell do you think we're giving a bad name to other vets? This asshole is another reason why SM's who KNOW they need help won't get it.
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SGT Jeff Decker
You make some excellent points in your response. Thank you for commenting. I’d like to take just a minute to clarify some of the things I wrote because it seems as though our thoughts are in alignment.
Given your comments about your recovery process, I don’t think that this article spoke directly to you. Instead, my intent was to have my “revulsion” directed at those that have done nothing to recover and still complain about it. It is to them that I say “pull your head out!” This obviously is not you given your heroic persistence at moving on.
I believe 100% that recovery is a process. The length of the process varies from person to person. I don’t advocate anything even resembling a deadline because each of us is unique and each of our experiences are also unique. This means that recovery times may vary.
What I do advocate and feel very passionately about is the need for people to take an active role in their recovery. Recovery could be mental, physical, emotional, spiritual for military or civilian, but I believe that it cannot happen without a person actively making a decision to get better. For most, recovery just won’t happen by itself. So while one person might take years to recover and the other weeks, each begins their recovery with making a decision to heal or improve.
Again, the “repulsion” that I mentioned in the article was towards people that are in need of help but do not seek it out. Instead they do nothing for themselves and, in my experience, complain about their inability to recover. Not making progress? Small wonder since you haven’t done anything to recover! These are the veterans that give other veterans a bad name.
On the other hand, veterans that make an effort to recover have my sincerest admiration. It takes a lot of guts to admit that you are facing an obstacle and even more to do something about it even if the recovery process takes years.
I apologize if my thoughts on this weren’t more articulate in my post. Your comments helped me to realize that I could have done a better job explaining. Your response indicates that our thoughts are aligned on the stupidity of a recovery date or deadline and the need for a tailor-made recovery program to each veteran. Given the effort that you have put forth in your own recovery, we might even agree on the importance of taking action to facilitate the recovery process.
In addition, I think it is worth mentioning that because we are unique, we also respond to things differently. What might be a traumatic experience for me may not be for 99% of other people. The fact that I am only 1 person of 100 that is affected does not make my pain any less. It doesn't matter the person's MOS, military status, etc. What matters is that they have experienced trauma and that they need to take an active role in recovering from that trauma if they hope to live the life that they deserve.
Given your comments about your recovery process, I don’t think that this article spoke directly to you. Instead, my intent was to have my “revulsion” directed at those that have done nothing to recover and still complain about it. It is to them that I say “pull your head out!” This obviously is not you given your heroic persistence at moving on.
I believe 100% that recovery is a process. The length of the process varies from person to person. I don’t advocate anything even resembling a deadline because each of us is unique and each of our experiences are also unique. This means that recovery times may vary.
What I do advocate and feel very passionately about is the need for people to take an active role in their recovery. Recovery could be mental, physical, emotional, spiritual for military or civilian, but I believe that it cannot happen without a person actively making a decision to get better. For most, recovery just won’t happen by itself. So while one person might take years to recover and the other weeks, each begins their recovery with making a decision to heal or improve.
Again, the “repulsion” that I mentioned in the article was towards people that are in need of help but do not seek it out. Instead they do nothing for themselves and, in my experience, complain about their inability to recover. Not making progress? Small wonder since you haven’t done anything to recover! These are the veterans that give other veterans a bad name.
On the other hand, veterans that make an effort to recover have my sincerest admiration. It takes a lot of guts to admit that you are facing an obstacle and even more to do something about it even if the recovery process takes years.
I apologize if my thoughts on this weren’t more articulate in my post. Your comments helped me to realize that I could have done a better job explaining. Your response indicates that our thoughts are aligned on the stupidity of a recovery date or deadline and the need for a tailor-made recovery program to each veteran. Given the effort that you have put forth in your own recovery, we might even agree on the importance of taking action to facilitate the recovery process.
In addition, I think it is worth mentioning that because we are unique, we also respond to things differently. What might be a traumatic experience for me may not be for 99% of other people. The fact that I am only 1 person of 100 that is affected does not make my pain any less. It doesn't matter the person's MOS, military status, etc. What matters is that they have experienced trauma and that they need to take an active role in recovering from that trauma if they hope to live the life that they deserve.
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SGT Jeff Decker
SFC Matthew Mason - Congratulations on finding something that works for you! It sounds like it was a long hard road but you made it! You are a great example of what IS possible. Well done and thank you for sharing!!!
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SSG Warren Swan
SGT Jeff Decker - Thanks for the clarification. I do have a habit of reading too far into things, and this could be another case of that. Healing is important to me, and to those I call friends. At face value I took this as a slap in the face, and disrespect to those who are hurting, and many in silence or fear of reprisal. The second one happens TOO OFTEN. Again seriously thanks for the clarification.
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SFC Matthew Mason
SSG Warren Swan - Fear of reprisal is unfortunately justified. That is the very core reason for my medical retirement. Not my other physical injuries. Get help they said, it won't affect your career they said. lol Well, at least I think we can attest that there are many of us that fell for that one and well, here we are, taking it a day at a time to reach our long term goals of inner peace and trying to help others that truly need it along the way.
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On two or three of them the therapist might need new teeth. It is totally dumb of them to things like that.
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That man in the Picture is now my 1SG. BOSS!!!!
On a serious note, I go down to my local Vet Center and all the councilors or therapists are all vets as well. And they only see Combat Vets completely free and completely off the record. These guys are solid and they look over you packet from MOS, marriage, location of deployments and they find the perfect councilor for you. My guy COL (R) Ranger Regiment, way more deployments that I could think of and its what I requested a combat MOS councilor that understands our mentality and our way of thought. Great guys, and great organization.
Stay Lethal everyone
RLTW
On a serious note, I go down to my local Vet Center and all the councilors or therapists are all vets as well. And they only see Combat Vets completely free and completely off the record. These guys are solid and they look over you packet from MOS, marriage, location of deployments and they find the perfect councilor for you. My guy COL (R) Ranger Regiment, way more deployments that I could think of and its what I requested a combat MOS councilor that understands our mentality and our way of thought. Great guys, and great organization.
Stay Lethal everyone
RLTW
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SGT Jeff Decker
Your boss!?? Good luck!!! :) Awesome to hear that the local Vet Center is working as well for you as it has for other vets I know! Thanks for your response and keep up the good fight brother! RLTW PS - Next time you see your guy at the vet center, you should coin check him!
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