1SG Dennis Hicks

Army | Infantry Senior Sergeant

Dates of Service: Jan 1978 - Apr 2013

RETIRED

71% Complete

11 Endorsements

78 Contacts

Influence Score: 538,313
251 out of 866,798 Veterans

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Bio

Professional ASSHOLE with a long history of SARCASM, Motto "Wouldst thou consider plumbing thine own cavities yonder" I will describe you as I see you. If you are easily offended then I recommend not engaging me. I will not act like the SRNCO that you want but as I have really become after 35 "PLUS" years of dealing with Shit birds. Former tesserarius centuriae :)

Military Experiences

Apr 2013 - Oct 2020

Retired 1SG

Walking dead | Home

Finally off the books, no more calls to come back and enjoy the fun, Officially an old broken down bastid with a very bad attitude and little patience for the purposely thick. Free to enjoy the results of decades of bodily abuse, mental health decline and old age in peace. Now to become even more deranged, disrespectful and combative as it is now the new normal. :)

Feb 2010 - Apr 2013

First Sergeant

B Co 404th CA BN (A) | Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst (JBMDL)

Won an all expense paid vacation to the land (A-Stan) where goat sex is legal and encouraged as a National pastime/sport, a place where area beautification projects are another form of extorting money from Uncle Sam. Got to see what happens when you mix the Benny Hill style with terrorist in a small Hillux bongo truck as it gets lit up by an Apache, the dogs and crows ate well that day. To this day, Porta Potties remind me of the Afghan National odor, crap left in the hot sun to ferment.

Jan 2009 - Feb 2010

Acting CSM

404th CA BN (A) | Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst (JBMDL)

Served as Acting CSM when the current one had to leave the service due to a Family Issue. Did a great deal of OJT without Support from my BDE/CACOM CSM's. Watched as selected CSM's were told to take over only to leave before doing so. Did the best I could with the Support of my peers and fellow NCO's and managed to do some good. Truly understood that it was a good thing I am not a SGM/CSM as I lack the social graces, the political acumen or the life force left to do battle at the upper levels. In addition I like to put my hands in my pockets, walk on grass and HATE reflective belts. I also like to get my hands dirty on details, drive LMTV's, HUMMERS and curse. That and while down at the 1 week long CSM Course at Leavenworth I seem to have grossed out CSM's/COL's and their wives daily :)

Jan 2007 - Nov 2008

First Sergeant

A Company 404th CA BN (A) | Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst (JBMDL)

Was hand selected from a humongous manpower pool of three for a trip to the land of perverts (IRAQ) where they bugger young boys and have Man love Monday at the shower chu, saw a place that could use underarm deodorant and time management badly where I learned that nobody can tell the truth nor do they feel the need to. While I was in country I sat there and wondered why I was picked up as a CSM(D) and yet I was told there were no positions, reminded me of Musical chairs with baseball bats, I withdrew from the SMA.

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Deployments

(2 years, 1 month)

Apr 2015 - Apr 2017

Bathroom

Can not be described nor the horrible activities that will occur. HAZMAT has been notified, it has been declared a supper-fund clean up site until 2060 and the horror exists, Stay away from Vegetarian MRE's they will be the death of your Gastrointestinal system.

Started in Apr 2013

FOB Livingroom

Responsible for household sarcasm and trouble, "Honey do" list holder 1st class, drinker of all the coffee, beer, Rum &whiskey.Point of blame for all household issues or police raids ,Stirrer of all shit online and at home and genuine problem causer, legend in my own mind and source of all irritation "BEHOLD" Buckle up buttercup, Getting old sucks.