The Disruption of the 2016 Presidential Election

Presidential election fever is heating up in the nation’s heartland. Each evening, polls come in indicating how well each candidate is being received by the voters, and eventually who will become their party’s nominee. Democracy is hard at work in this great land!

But wait, do I hear the drum beat of a third party candidate?

Ah yes! I certainly do. And guess what? This person will be able to represent all the illegal immigrants and disenfranchised voters who want a hero to run for president. The candidate that I will reveal this afternoon is one who understands the needs of this great nation and is willing to roll up the shirt sleeves to get the job done. While most of the other hopefuls are out looking for ways to slice and dice each other in the media, the Centrist is launching a stealth attack at the heart of the infighting.

For this candidate to win the election, you, the voters, will need to set aside your own distrust of the system and take a listen to the Centrist’s platform. You will need to remember that the Centrist is not paid for by special interests or big businesses. The Centrist is not going to bow down to sling mud over contentious and trivial issues. The Centrist is above being petty and self serving because a nation’s liberty hangs in the balance of the coming election.

The Centrist stands or sits fully in the middle of the fence on all the major and minor issues facing the United States today. Being a keen political strategist, the Centrist seeks to mirror the opinions of the majority of voters in the United States. When asked about securing the border from illegal immigration, the Centrist says, “We’ll look at the issue and formulate a reasoned response.” When faced with questions related to the trade deficit with China, the Centrist responds, “We need our trade partners to help us help them to help ourselves.” In response to the weighty question of legalizing controlled substances, the Centrist takes a hard line by stating, “We won’t ban the behavior we don’t like.”

Does the Centrist’s point of view interest you? Would you like to know who the Centrist is and if you can get the Centrist added to the ballot as a write in candidate? If you would like to see an end to politics as usual in the United States, be bold and cast a vote for the one person not on any party ticket. Be unique in saying no to either major party. Help yourself to stop the madness of this crazed political season and vote with your head and your heart.

Oh, I forgot to tell you who the Centrist is, sorry my mistake. The Centrist is you! In November 2016 vote for yourself!

This message has been paid for by the committee to elect a president for the United States that won’t upset everyone in the world.