My Battle with PTSD: How Community and Service Changed My Life

When I left the Marine Corps in 2008, I suddenly lacked the clear purpose I had while on active duty. I didn’t have a task or a mission, and the unwelcoming job market didn’t help. Like many veterans, I didn’t recognize that many of the feelings and symptoms I was experiencing weren’t normal. I drank a lot, but I didn’t attribute my drinking to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). At the time it was more a lifestyle and a tool to numb my nightmares, anxiety, and depression.


For years after leaving active duty, my symptoms continued to build. At some points, my brain stopped processing coherent and rational thoughts and I would mentally check out (sometimes for weeks). In those periods, my alcohol use went uncontrolled. When I found myself constantly crying in private, and simultaneously needing two hands to count the holes I had repaired in the drywall after outbursts, I knew I was dealing with a larger issue. I realized my substance abuse was merely a coping mechanism I had put in place instead of facing my PTSD.


As we approach PTSD Awareness Day, I want to share some strategies that have been critical for my recovery and healing. Through professional help and the unfailing support of my wife, I’ve been able to identify my major stressors and create action plans to deal with them preemptively. I’ve developed new skills and methods for coming down from stress before I am triggered. Task lists and schedules help me focus on being low-stress and present with my family, work, and even have a social life.


Networking with veteran groups and establishing peer-to-peer support - finding community - is the resource that has helped me the most. When I first connected with Travis Manion Foundation (TMF) https://rly.pt/TMFptsd , I was still in the beginning of my journey addressing PTSD. I participated in an Expedition in 2021, traveling to Puerto Rico to rebuild homes for families in need alongside other veterans and families of the fallen. It was a game changer for me. I found that giving myself to service again like I did in the Marine Corps was incredibly rewarding; it helped shrink the darkness I felt inside.


Since then, I have participated in numerous service projects and trained to serve as a Mentor to youth with TMF. I’ve pushed myself physically with the TMF community, and have found a group of veterans and families of the fallen that truly understand what I am going through. Finding that connectedness has empowered me in so many ways.


Dealing with PTSD reminds me of getting through boot camp, in a way. Parris island felt so isolating at times, just like my PTSD. It was easy to feel alone and it was so hard to make it through. To succeed there, it took building relationships with your platoon. To my fellow veterans, there are two things you can start doing today to find a way off your own island - find new opportunities to serve and find a way to connect with people who encourage and empower you.


Finding your community and peer-to-peer support will help with not only the symptoms you know are tied to PTSD, but it will also help with other little things that don’t seem quite “right.” With TMF, I found peers that help me recognize when I am avoiding the work, peers who hold me accountable, people that give me a safe space to fail and try again. Healing isn’t linear, but you have to keep changing your environment until you’re off that island.


To learn more about my story, my battle with PTSD and how I found my way out, click here: https://rly.pt/tmfvideo