Expanding Community Connection for Veterans with Blue Star Families

Army Command Sergeant Major Sa’eed Mustafa (Ret.) stands in front of his ancestor Sergeant First Class (Ret.) Leon Tatum’s grave at the West Point Cemetery, presenting a wreath during Wreaths Across America.

Many times veterans are looking for the next opportunity after the military. It could be that a job is offered somewhere that they are not accustomed to living and they take that opportunity. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I thought that is what I would do. But it was at the invitation of my sister to come home, that I returned to Highland Falls, New York.

I thought I was coming back to just visit and see how things were going. But once I arrived, I realized that my parents were old and they needed me. They took care of me when I could not take care of myself and now I am here looking after them. After 30 years of active-duty service, I inherited a caregiver role. One might think it is an easy transition, you just go back home, but for me, it was a strange phenomena.

One day I was in a community of one million people and then the next day I was back home in a community of 3,000 people, serving as town councilman and caregiver to my parents. It was a culture shock.

Even in my daughter's case, she was more accustomed to being on a military base. So, when I moved into the community, it was a challenge for her, too. As a result, we moved to West Point, which is attached to my hometown, for that reason. After transitioning, I wrote Resilient Transition https://rly.pt/ResilientTransition to help other veterans combat feelings of stress and anxiety, because despite having this history and connection, my resettlement was not easy.

It was shortly after the book’s release that I discovered a missing component I wish I had known about sooner: Blue Star Families. They have been an incredible resource here from the standpoint as a veteran who likes to get involved, but also as a leader in the community who reaped the benefits of the organization being so accessible to the town and bridging the gap between the military installation and the community at large.

At events they introduced me to, like Wreaths Across America, I felt more connected. I laid a wreath on my great uncle’s grave, along with his wife's grave, an honor which is now extended to other veterans in the Buffalo Soldier community. In the 1930s, my great uncle Sergeant First Class Leon Tatum, served as a 9th and 10th cavalry detachment horseman with the Buffalo Soldiers, teaching the cadets how to do military tactics on horseback. He is now buried here at the West Point Cemetery, and it is very rewarding to know that his legacy is being maintained.

Also, this year, I was able to go to Wall Street with Blue Star Families and participate in the ringing of the bell at the New York Stock Exchange. While there, I met another attendee that happened to be the daughter of a soldier I worked alongside during my career, and now realize is also involved with the organization: Lieutenant General (Ret.) Gwen Bingham. I kept looking at her saying, “You look so familiar to me. By chance you wouldn't happen to have a mother who's a retired general, do you?” She said, “Yes!”

As a veteran that has fully transitioned, I recognize how critical the well-being of family members is, their need to thrive and to associate with an organization that gets involved in positive projects. That is where Blue Star families bridges the gap and gets us in the right place at the right time. My military/veteran family recently joined a new community and it has made a real impact for me. You can find ways to get involved, too, even if you did not recently transition to a new community but are interested in other military family programming. Blue Star families changed my life and it could change yours too.

I'm a military family member in transition that is interested in joining a BSF community: https://rly.pt/FindBSFprogram

I'm a military family member that is not in transition but I am still interested in military family programming: https://rly.pt/BSFWelcome

I have served in the U.S. military and would like to learn more about Veteran benefits from the VA: https://rly.pt/3YsOmQi