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Command Post What is this?
Posted on Jan 21, 2021
SSgt Peter Schmidt
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MAJ Ken Landgren
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Edited 4 y ago
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The utility to having PTSD is I can often look into a veterans eyes and see the tortured soul inside. I will often ask would you like my help. If they say yes I will take them on a journey to understand where they are at, what the symptoms are, and give them coping skills for the symptoms. I feel an immense obligation to try to help others.

I glued the pieces of my life back together found out I could not find some pieces. I have lost some passion in the process. I use to love to cook and fish, but they don't excite me anymore. For better or for worse the definition of Ken is different now. Perhaps now I am 70% of what I use to be.

I have more compassion now. I understand how it feels to want to die and throw in the towel for 730 days straight, and the future was obscured by the tears. I very much want to tenderly pick people off the ground, dust them off, and send them to the finish line. I am glad I have PTSD. I understand.

I am not a better person, at least I don't think I am; but I can say I am a stronger person. None of the travails I experience now can match the pain of wanting to die for 730 days. It feels like I have an emotional and mental armor now. Nothing in my daily activities can hurt me like PTSD did.

My values and goals are the same. However, I keep listening for perspectives on life that would give me clarity or deeper understand of me and the universe. I came up with mantra if you live your life with pure intentions, it will reduce future regrets. I am a huge fan of Anthony Bourdain. I like to travel and I am a foodie. I am such a foodie that I wrote a cookbook with my wife that focuses on relatively easy to make meals from around the world. Back to Mr. Bourdain. He was smart, cultured, and often said some interesting things. One night I watched one of his episodes and he said we should give the world our best, the world will give back to us, good or bad. I thought wow, he just described the mechanics of living with a few words.

I will be redundant now as I said before and I will say it again. I am now a cat in a dogs' world. I can spread my wings, but I don't always fly straight; but I am constitutionally strong. My inherent values define me and how I live my life, and my struggles has made me tougher.

I will expound on some thoughts to perhaps help others. I did learn a valuable lesson on growth recently. For years I thought I could improve no further and this was the best I would be. One day I wondered why was I content and hot happy about auspicious events in my life. Through introspection I realized I had no clue why. So I did what I usually do when a problem confronts me, I slept on it. The answer hit me. It was always there, but I did not perceive it. I needed to link happiness to who and what I love. By consciously thinking about it, I created the linkage. When I see my wife I feel happy. When I see my pet Macaw I feel happy. When I think about my children I feel happy. My life is so much better now. I wish everyone with PTSD can feel this way.

Here is a picture of Ariel. She says hello, hi, how are you, I love you, come here, ow, boo, hi Ariel. When she gets something good to eat she will say mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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MAJ Ken Landgren
MAJ Ken Landgren
4 y
This song is in tribute to Anthony Bourdain. He shot an episode in Laos a few months before he took his life. At the end of the episode it showed Mr. Bourdain standing on a riverbank at night watching candles floating slowly down a river and disappear into darkness, much like his life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BddSN2jNS9E&list=PLGc4mbVb2i0rHLXK2t8iqXFTNAyz9ngIe&index=106
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SGT Lorenzo Nieto
SGT Lorenzo Nieto
4 y
Good for you my brother we served in different wars but brought the same pain back I to did the same thing as you so far it’s working keep it up.
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MAJ Ken Landgren
MAJ Ken Landgren
4 y
I hope u can smile and be happy. I wrote a PTSD Paper if u r interested. It has helped quite a few people. I ask for nothing in return. PFC Mickael Gedlu
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MAJ Ken Landgren
MAJ Ken Landgren
4 y
PFC Mickael Gedlu - Well if you change your mind just message me. My paper is a very easy read.
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SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth
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Thank you for the great article on PTSD brother SSgt Peter Schmidt
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SSgt Richard Kensinger
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As a clinician of 50 yrs. I conduct therapy known as revisit, relive, and revise. I go into the combat zones with them repeatedly until they begin to heal some and incorporate the experience where it is less painful. This is more challenging when the present with complex PTSD by repeated combat forays.
This is a very pertinent topic. I have a number of published article on combat trauma. If interested contact me for copies at " [login to see] "
Rich
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