Soldiers are very creative! What is the best excuse you have ever used/heard for being late?

Not a "late" story, but an inventive one and in the spirit of the thread I thought Id share. <br><br>Soldier had gotten into some trouble and 1SG decided to take away civilian clothes and&nbsp;restrict the soldier&nbsp;to only wearing BDUs, PTs or Class As. Not restricted to post mind you but just no civies. So I write the counseling instructing the soldier to not wear his civilian clothes etc etc. This is on a friday.<br><br>The following monday a fellow squad leader comes in and tells me he seen the soldier in civlian clothes at the club. I call the soldier in and ask him if this was true. He said yes. I then ask him if he was unclear on the restrictions that he was under, to which replied no, he understood perfectly. I then asked if he had blatantly just disregarded my counseling and the 1SG's directive. He said no, and the exact quote was: "No SSG Davenport, I did not violate your counseling. You told me not to wear MY civilian clothes, you didnt say I couldnt borrow some of my roommates and wear his!" <br><br>I was dumbfounded. But it was a good one...best excuse I had heard in a long long time.<br><br>

I once had a Soldier ask to get out of CQ because his father was coming into town that night. I swapped him out with another Soldier, no reason to doubt him at the time. A couple hours later I received a phone call from his father (Dad was a retired CSM), he was concerned about his son because of something that he stated. While talking with his dad, I asked him what time his flight was arriving that night. His dad gave that what the hell are you talking about HUH! over the phone. When I explained to him what the Soldier had told me, he said that he was not coming to visit and that the Soldier had a girlfriend coming to visit. (The Soldier was seperated at the time form his wife.) I had my squad leader call the Soldier to the office.  When the Soldier showed up I put my phone on speaker while his dad listened. needless to say the truth finally came out and that Soldier was put back on CQ and counseled by me about inappropriate relationships while he was still married. It was a bonus when he tried to explain his actions to his father.