Posted on Mar 24, 2015
Military Networking Site not a Dating Site. Thoughts?
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Ok, I have noticed this from a lot of fellow Rallypoint members. I noticed a few people said they had to change there pictures due to people hitting on them. I thought this site was about networking to help further our careers.
Should there be penalties for people that do such things? It is a form of harassment is it not? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Should there be penalties for people that do such things? It is a form of harassment is it not? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Networking
Military Life
Professionalism
Dating
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 82
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Meh...change your picture and/or simply say "Not interested". If someone is attractive, they get hit on. Unless you lock yourself in a closet and never come out, that's the way it's going to be.
When I say "hit on", I mean receive compliments and requests for attention that are polite and appropriate. Ex: "Wow, hi. You're pretty and I see we're stationed in the same town. Would you like to meet for coffee?" That isn't crude or distasteful. A simple yes or no should suffice. And before you say RP isn't a hookup site - you are right, it isn't. A grocery store or church aren't pickup bars either, but people meet romantic interests there all the time. I met my super hot and much younger wife of over 10 yrs on Everquest. :D
If you are receiving inappropriate comments that enter the realms of distasteful, uncivilized, or even sexual harassment - that's a different story. In that case, it doesn't matter where or how it happens, it's reportable and I would support anyone (male or female) that reported uninvited and unwanted comments that fall into the realm of sexual harassment. If not to the RP mods, report it up your chain. Remember the Navy guy that got hammered for posting on Twitter or FB that he was going to rape some Navy recruit. You can and will get hammered if you act like a moron on social media. People can and should report it.
Most importantly, I think people on both extreme sides just need to grow the f*** up. One side acts like a bunch of uncivilized primates that are either too crude or can't take no for an answer, and the other side is full of easily-offended, thin skinned pansies. Come to the middle where you can hit on someone with class and that person can tell you "not interested" without acting like they were just raped because you asked them out.
When I say "hit on", I mean receive compliments and requests for attention that are polite and appropriate. Ex: "Wow, hi. You're pretty and I see we're stationed in the same town. Would you like to meet for coffee?" That isn't crude or distasteful. A simple yes or no should suffice. And before you say RP isn't a hookup site - you are right, it isn't. A grocery store or church aren't pickup bars either, but people meet romantic interests there all the time. I met my super hot and much younger wife of over 10 yrs on Everquest. :D
If you are receiving inappropriate comments that enter the realms of distasteful, uncivilized, or even sexual harassment - that's a different story. In that case, it doesn't matter where or how it happens, it's reportable and I would support anyone (male or female) that reported uninvited and unwanted comments that fall into the realm of sexual harassment. If not to the RP mods, report it up your chain. Remember the Navy guy that got hammered for posting on Twitter or FB that he was going to rape some Navy recruit. You can and will get hammered if you act like a moron on social media. People can and should report it.
Most importantly, I think people on both extreme sides just need to grow the f*** up. One side acts like a bunch of uncivilized primates that are either too crude or can't take no for an answer, and the other side is full of easily-offended, thin skinned pansies. Come to the middle where you can hit on someone with class and that person can tell you "not interested" without acting like they were just raped because you asked them out.
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SSG (Join to see)
The only thing I would add/change is the term "uninvited". I don't like it in real life Army training/policies either (but do abide by and enforce it when applicable, and it's not really relevant because I am married).
In my opinion the initial "hitting on" action, as long as the action itself isn't inappropriate and a "no" response is taken graciously as no and then left alone, doesn't need to be "invited". If that were the case, the person "inviting" the behavior would be violating this rule and nobody would ever get together with anyone else, EVER.
For the people who are soooo attractive that even if all the opposite sex followed the above guidelines it would still come up annoyingly often, I guess it sucks to be you. :)
In my opinion the initial "hitting on" action, as long as the action itself isn't inappropriate and a "no" response is taken graciously as no and then left alone, doesn't need to be "invited". If that were the case, the person "inviting" the behavior would be violating this rule and nobody would ever get together with anyone else, EVER.
For the people who are soooo attractive that even if all the opposite sex followed the above guidelines it would still come up annoyingly often, I guess it sucks to be you. :)
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SGT Allison Churchill
I agree 99 percent with you, MSgt (Join to see)--but I think if someone is going to approach someone on a professional website, don't bring up looks. Say something about a comment they made. If you find each other physically attractive, you'll figure it out.
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I heard the same thing about LinkedIn.
I am all for stamping out sexism and no tolerance for harrassment, but we can not eliminate some of what is just human nature.
Men are visual, and when we see a picture of an attractive woman, we are going to click on it, wonder if she is married (for those that even care) and wonder if she is stationed near us. We are going to wonder if, upon seeing our picture, thought the same thing.
It is similar to studies where people deemed attractive are going to have an easier time getting jobs, pay raises, promotions, assistance, etc etc.
YOu can try and manage this, but it might be wasted efffort to try and completely supress it.
what I hate...when guys do this, it kills the purpose of sites such as RP or LI, and then people stop going on there, and the opportunity is gone.
I am all for stamping out sexism and no tolerance for harrassment, but we can not eliminate some of what is just human nature.
Men are visual, and when we see a picture of an attractive woman, we are going to click on it, wonder if she is married (for those that even care) and wonder if she is stationed near us. We are going to wonder if, upon seeing our picture, thought the same thing.
It is similar to studies where people deemed attractive are going to have an easier time getting jobs, pay raises, promotions, assistance, etc etc.
YOu can try and manage this, but it might be wasted efffort to try and completely supress it.
what I hate...when guys do this, it kills the purpose of sites such as RP or LI, and then people stop going on there, and the opportunity is gone.
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PV2 (Join to see)
Well stated Sir. I will also add that some women are visual too and enjoy a picture of an attractive man as well. ;-)
I think being professional and polite usually handles it. I haven't encountered anyone on here looking for a "hookup". I think to some degree just like any other site, when you encounter someone like-minded with shared interests, it can naturally happen. On the same vein, we are adults and have the capability to control our urges and hormones too.
I think being professional and polite usually handles it. I haven't encountered anyone on here looking for a "hookup". I think to some degree just like any other site, when you encounter someone like-minded with shared interests, it can naturally happen. On the same vein, we are adults and have the capability to control our urges and hormones too.
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SSG V. Michelle Woods
"I will also add that some women are visual too and enjoy a picture of an attractive man as well" bahahahahaha!!! I love you PV2 (Join to see)!
And for those who may see this as me "hitting on" her, relax. All is well :)
And for those who may see this as me "hitting on" her, relax. All is well :)
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MSgt (Join to see)
Wait a second... You mean to tell me that I came into this place under the wrong assumptions?
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