I’ve been dealing with heavy depression/suicidal thoughts for awhile now. What do I do?

I’m in the National Guard. I’ve been in for 2 years now. I know it’s only a few days a month and 2-4 weeks each summer. It’s nothing, I know. I was dealing with heavy depression before I enlisted but decided to enlist because I thought it would give me better direction in life and set me on a new path. It did the complete opposite. I am much worse now, and the depression has increased and now has reached suicidal thoughts. At this point, I would rather kill myself than be at this Annual training right now. I’ve had these suicide thoughts for about 6 months now and it’s getting worse.

I just found out I tore my meniscus, again. So now I will be needing my 3rd knee surgery when I get home. I had two knee surgeries prior to the Army. Now I will be needing my 3rd when I get home. All 3 on the same knee as well. I’m an 11b so knees are kind of important. I am just going to keep tearing shit in this knee and keep having to get surgeries as an 11b. I thought about trying to change my MOS to something easier on my knee, but people in my unit have told me it is impossible to change MOS’ till after your contract.

I feel trapped. I’m just stuck and I feel like my only way out of my shitty situation is suicide. I’m tired of feeling like this.