Posted on Apr 12, 2022
How to talk to my civilian employer about their constant need to assume I have underlining issues due to my service?
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Some details. I have a senior position at a company and I report directly to the owner/president of the company. We are not a large firm personnel wise; but financially we are large. Every time they disagree with my approach to something they make remarks about "this is not the Army, we can calm down some" or "I know how you 'guys' can be under pressure, but lets clam down"... Now, I will admit that there are times when I do get excited about issues, but that is part of my job to over see the operations of a multi-multi-million dollar company. I am still in the guard and my unit does do a lot of super MUTAs so the training calendar is heavy at times, but I made them aware of this prior to starting to work here. However, this does not stop him from always making comments about "I can not believe the guard needs to train this much?" and "The guard really deploys outside of the country?"... I have explained to him several times about how and why we train the way we do, that yes we do deploy, and yes it is out of the country.... My issue is, how do I properly and professional approach him about, well, basically not talking about my service anymore at work... I am not the guy that needs the recognition at work or in public; I just wanna do my job and not have it constantly thrown in my face that I am in the military.... Seriously starting to feel singled out and it is pissing me off... Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Sorry for the rant, but I need to get this off my chest and this seemed like the best place to do so..
Sorry for the rant, but I need to get this off my chest and this seemed like the best place to do so..
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 23
It sounds like they could use some ESGR info regarding training and deployments of the National Guard. I know one of my previous jobs certainly did. Constantly scheduling me on drill, trying to get me to call out sick to the Guard so I could work a shift. They even thought I was quitting when orders came up for a month long in state training. We had weekends off and many received authorization to "moonlight" back at their jobs so they didn't lose out on too much pay. I did not tell them I had weekends off, the training was a nice vacation.
I ended up leaving another job for more pay, but one of my issues I left on my letter of resignation was how I had been targeted by some co-workers telling me my military service was offensive. I seldomly talked about my service at work, and when I did only with two other people. One of whom was a Navy Veteran and another who was in the Marine Reserves, and only during lunch or break periods when we weren't engaged in our duties. I found out later the other two military affiliated employees also quit.
I currently have a scheduling issue where I am placed on certain shifts or given certain rundown vehicles in the fleet because I am viewed as less likely to complain about poor conditions because of the military. While that's somewhat true, I don't view a Civilian occupation as being equal to military conditions in training or on deployment and as such I shouldn't be treated worse just because I have some military experiences.
I usually roll with it, but eventually I end up having conversations about it. I maintain a respectful demeanor... 99% of the time... Lately I just end up moving on rather than sticking it out. Trying to find my place in employment I suppose. I'm not some rambo door kicker and I don't pretend to be, I'm proud of what I've done and who I've served with, but there are definitely some misconceptions about what we do and our mental state. Then you add the Guard and Reserve to that and employers get weird if not down right stupid.
Wish you luck and hope it works out well for you.
I ended up leaving another job for more pay, but one of my issues I left on my letter of resignation was how I had been targeted by some co-workers telling me my military service was offensive. I seldomly talked about my service at work, and when I did only with two other people. One of whom was a Navy Veteran and another who was in the Marine Reserves, and only during lunch or break periods when we weren't engaged in our duties. I found out later the other two military affiliated employees also quit.
I currently have a scheduling issue where I am placed on certain shifts or given certain rundown vehicles in the fleet because I am viewed as less likely to complain about poor conditions because of the military. While that's somewhat true, I don't view a Civilian occupation as being equal to military conditions in training or on deployment and as such I shouldn't be treated worse just because I have some military experiences.
I usually roll with it, but eventually I end up having conversations about it. I maintain a respectful demeanor... 99% of the time... Lately I just end up moving on rather than sticking it out. Trying to find my place in employment I suppose. I'm not some rambo door kicker and I don't pretend to be, I'm proud of what I've done and who I've served with, but there are definitely some misconceptions about what we do and our mental state. Then you add the Guard and Reserve to that and employers get weird if not down right stupid.
Wish you luck and hope it works out well for you.
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SSG Robert Pratt
I would say what I would respond to those who were "offended" about my military service but its not "politically correct"!
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A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
SSG Robert Pratt - & SPC (Verify To See),
I've Never Bothered With Political Correctness
Nor Even Cared Anything About It.
Therefore If I Happen To Irritate Someone By Speaking My Mind,
They Can Simply
KISS My ASS!,,
I've Never Bothered With Political Correctness
Nor Even Cared Anything About It.
Therefore If I Happen To Irritate Someone By Speaking My Mind,
They Can Simply
KISS My ASS!,,
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PFC Sammie Collins
Some people support the military in theory but are intimidated by them in reality.
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A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
"WE SUPPORT YOU, But We'll Vote Against Any Pay Increases And Benefits.,
Because WE Might Have To Pay For Them With OUR Tax Money".
Ax Holes
Because WE Might Have To Pay For Them With OUR Tax Money".
Ax Holes
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CPL Brian Baumgartner
It could be much simpler, sir: NO ONE likes being FORCED to support someone at work who seems hostile (I can easily see this interpreted as anger issues) who gets a pass on it because of political environment. And if anyone thinks that is snowflake weakness, look deep at yourself and tell me if you would be fine with having to call a person zhe or they, or you would face disciplinary action. And I hoped you noticed this did not smell like a "Soldiers are babykillers" beef. "Support the military" is not an all-permutational absolute by any rational person's standard.
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Sorry for your troubles at work. I am reminded of an old saying, "If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand anyway". Civilians don't have it in their makeup/mindset. You could file a Federal EO complaint, probably not a good idea. Or have Him come over and watch a couple of truthful combat movies over a few beers, to maybe get Him thinking in a different light. I grew up in the military, Army Brat, my point of view is much different than many of my acquaintances, that's life, so I live it. Good Luck.
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A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
I Find It Much Less Confrontational To Simply Say:
"I Actually Find It Too Complicated To Explain; But When I Can Figure It Out,
I'll Probably Be Able To Explain It To Better To Everyone "
In Doing So, You Place The Problem Back On Yourself, Not On The Other Person;
It's Peacefully Settled An Nobody Is Worse Off For It.
"I Actually Find It Too Complicated To Explain; But When I Can Figure It Out,
I'll Probably Be Able To Explain It To Better To Everyone "
In Doing So, You Place The Problem Back On Yourself, Not On The Other Person;
It's Peacefully Settled An Nobody Is Worse Off For It.
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