How have you dealt with PTSD?

Medication, years of intensive psychotherapy, a CareGiver, and a whole lot of self-control.

Me personally, May 19, 1998, I watched in horror helplessly, as an oak tree fell knocking my dad off an extension ladder, and killed him instantly. He was eight days away from retirement after 43 years on the job as a civilian.

Needless to say, I withdrew from everyone, including my wife, my infant son, family, friends, everyone, I feared sleeping as the event would simply unfold, over and over for about three months. For me it was a combination of faith, and public speaking.

I researched God's Word, just to find the answers, mainly "what happens once we die?" The more I read, the more I prayed, the insecurities, the nightmares, began to lift. Remembering the first few times I provided testimony to the event, I cried like a baby in front of several of my peers. But found the more I shared my story, it became easier, until a few months later I found that haunting presence was gone. I became free.

For myself personally, it was all about recognizing that God allows Satan and his demonic forces to have their way, but deep inside of all of us is the God given free will to determine what is going to control the remainder of our lives? We have a purpose here on earth, and for this event to happen in my life, only made me a stronger person, and more of an advocate for veterans that suffer from PTSD as well. God never gives us more than we can handle.

No meds, no doctors, just me and my faith. I still struggle when I visit dad's headstone. But I cherish the memories for the short period of time we were together here in this world, knowing I will meet up with him beyond the threshold of death on the other side when that day comes.

I am still dealing with this. I have decent days and some that are just plain terrible. Although discharged from the Army, I was not given retirement. Instead, I had to try to adapt in order to survive. I am currently employed, but each day is a struggle. I miss too much work due to the symptoms and medical appointments. I'm afraid that my job will soon cease to exist if I am not careful. I have no one to talk to. I bottle everything inside and that is a contributing factor. I'm afraid to speak up out of fear of being labeled a problem employee by my job and a nut case by the VA. I feel trapped.

One day at a time

Yes I get very extreme headaches that cause me nausea,anger,sleep deprivation and memory loss. I usually work through it but this past event caused me to lose my job. I worked with people who could not understand what i was going through and said it made a negative and non productive atmosphere. I have always worked and never lost a job for this so it is driving me crazy with what to do. I have a family to support and trying hard to find a new job.

I take my prescribed medicines keep my family informed of everything.

I was diagnosed with PTSD. There are several medications I'm on to fight depression and to help me sleep at night. I still get angry very easy. At times, all it takes is for someone to interrupt me while I'm talking or asking a question. To be quite honest, it royally pisses me off.

My boss is one of those toxic leaders who lets the authority she have go way too her head. She changes the rules without informing anyone. The week before last, we were discussing a meeting I was planning for new clients. She interrupts me while I'm talking, not once, but several times. In a very harsh voice I told her to quit interrupting me that it was disrespectful and demeaning.

I made no secret I had PTSD because I believe it's best to educate people about it because may of those who have it are stereotyped as being potential psychotic killers. I educated everyone what PTSD really was and that more than 25 million people in this country suffer from it sometime during their life (Rand study). I told them not just combat veterans suffer from it, but anyone who has been a victim or witness to a traumatic event can suffer from PTSD.

After that day, I was treated differently. I'm talking about people seemed to be afraid of me. Yesterday, after working there for seven weeks, I was told the organization was going in a new direction and because of this new direction my position was being eliminated.

It's been 5 years since I was officially diagnosed with having PTSD & I still continue to deal with having it. I had been locked up 3 different times & was facing at one point 40 years in prison. Since than I have done inpatient care & now I go to therapy once a week through The Vet Center & receive mental health care through the VA. I still have to take medicine every morning to help with my mood & temper & take medicine every night to sleep because I still have dreams as if I had just got back yesterday. I went and bought a motorcycle and surprisingly it relaxes me tremendously.

When I got home from my first tour in Iraq I ETS'd within 90 days and jumped right back into the civilian world. I was cold and reclusive to everyone around me and lacked any sort of empathy. Even though I swore nothing was wrong with me, I knew something was different. Most of my personal relationships went down the drain. I couldn't maintain a job. I didn't care what others thought or how I made them feel, because they would never understand... I would drink a lot, blame others (and the Army) for my shortcomings. Within a few months of my ETS, I came to the conclusion that I had made a huge mistake and went back in. I can remember the immense relief I felt on that first day at Replacement. It's amazing the comfort you can find in being able to share your experiences with those that have been there, done that. I ended up sucking it up for another 7 years, with a few more deployments and was eventually MEB'd for my back. Now that I was getting out again, I decided I would do things a little different. I went and got regular counseling through Behavioral Health and ASAP, which did me a TON of good. After I got out, I sought out the VFW and joined my local post so I could still be around other folks with similar experiences. Most day's are okay for me and rarely do I struggle, but loud sounds and piles of rubbish on the side of the road still get my anxiety up. Instead of drinking to deal with it, I go sit by the river or blog about what I'm going through. Anyways, some days are tough, but I've surrounded myself with close friends and my fellow comrades at the VFW and that makes it so much easier.

Everytime I go to answer this question, I end up erasing everything I have written. This time, I tell myself I will leave it here and actually post it. When I first got home from Iraq in 2004, my life had been rearranged from when I left, I had gone through a divorce, lost my house in said divorce, and was scrambling trying to figure out what to do. I did what a lot of people do to numb the feelings. I withdrew from my loved ones, my family. I started drinking like a fish, and was all around a total ass to anybody who knew me. I would snap at somebody at the drop of a hat, and be ready to use my fists any time somebody looked at me. I wasn't sleeping, I was drinking my career down the toilet, losing friends faster than I can type this. I would go out driving, usually on gravel roads and see how fast I could drift around the sharpest corners I could find. I needed that adrenaline rush. My drinking got me in trouble with my employer, causing me to get slapped with a 30 days suspension. About halfway through that, with rent, child support, and everything else, it became too much for me, and I quit the only job I ever had. I then started working in concrete, and I was doing pretty well. I had an argument with my boss, and started looking for another job. I was hired to work at a casino doing security. I was on the fast track for a promotion, and ended up getting fired, for reasons that remain unclear. I did what had always worked in the past, turned to the booze. I broke up with the girl I was dating, and finally decided it was time for me to get my shit straight. After a very long conversation with my dad, he convinced me to call the VA to see if they could help me. I called, and they sent a deputy out to my apartment, thinking I was a threat to myself. I had already prepared myself for at least a 72 hour evaluation, and had a bag packed. I spent the next 4 or 5 hours in the emergency room at the VA being watched like a hawk. I finally got to see the doctor, and he gave me meds to sleep, meds to keep me awake, and we set up an appointment to talk to somebody. For the better part of a year, at least 3 times a week, I drove down to talk to my therapist. I had stopped taking the sleep meds after about a month, due to the fact they gave me worst nightmares than I had when I wasn't taking them. In the 3 of 5 I remembered, I ended up dying in some gruesome way. Talking with my therapist helped tremendously, and I started to reintegrate myself into my family life. After a year of my visits, I was allowed to stop taking my meds, and don't drink as much or as often as I used to. I still have issues from time to time, but nothing like it used to be. I get nervous in crowds, and am constantly checking my surroundings,but I am able to deal with the issues a lot better than I used to. I have a great support system, my new wife has a 6th sense and is able to tell when we need to get someplace more open if we are in a store, and has a calming effect on me. I have noticed that if I am able to keep busy, building models with my sons, going on hikes, or fishing, life isn't that bad, and I can deal with the shit that occupies my mind. I know more than likely I will never be completely cured of this, but at least I now know how to manage it.