A journey of finding support while trying to build a life we don’t want to escape from

Caregiving and caregiver are words that have become everyday vocabulary for many in this country. I not only use these words in my professional life, I also proudly claim veteran caregiver as part of my personal identity.

Over the years, life has thrown my family a few sets of brick walls that we had to navigate around, one being medical retirement. When my husband went through medical retirement, I had no idea that there was a name for the new role I was already taking on. I felt isolated and stressed. We were navigating medical appointments, medications, 2 children under the age of 5, out processing, finding a new place to live and I was in the process of completing my doctorate. In the midst of all this stress, I realized I was lonely and missing the connections I once had with our active-duty family. They didn’t quite understand since we were now on the other side of active-duty life. I ultimately learned I needed what was called peer support.

The first time I joined a peer support group, I only sat and listened. I thought to myself I could see myself in anyone of their situations. In fact, I was dealing with many of the same struggles. I left that meeting and cried in my car. Those tears were a bittersweet mixture of many emotions, including relief that I wasn’t alone and didn’t have to navigate this journey on my own. Unfortunately, I wasn’t always able to make it to the group, due to childcare, my husband’s care, time and distance. That is until I came across the Military and Veteran Caregiver Network (MVCN). MVCN is rooted in evidence-based peer support that is both in-person and virtual. I was able to attend groups from my house and still be available to my family, as needed.

The more I supported and connected with other caregivers, the more I realized I was gaining confidence, I felt more supported, and it became part of my passion. This reciprocal peer support is one of the foundations of MVCN. The next step for me was to take a leading role and volunteer to become a mentor, facilitator, or moderator (or all 3 of you are like me and love to learn). As I took on these volunteer roles with MVCN, I realized that I was adding another layer to my identity. I knew I wanted to give back because I never wanted someone to feel as alone as I felt in the beginning of my journey. MVCN staff took time to answer my questions, built me up when I couldn’t see my own worth and strengths, and help me navigate supporting others. However, there were a few bumps where I had to put supporting others on the backburner to dedicate more time to my husband’s care. Since MVCN is for caregiver by caregivers, they completely understood and encouraged me to honor my family’s needs and priorities. Once life calmed back down, I was able to come back and pick up my volunteer position.

One day a friend asked me to tell her about MVCN because she saw a staff position posted. She knew that is where I was volunteering. After we connected, she told me I should apply because she could obviously hear my passion for the program, and she thought I would be a perfect fit. Turns out, it was the perfect fit for my dream job. I have now been with MVCN for almost 5 years.

The MVCN team continues to support military and veteran caregivers of all eras in an effort to increase connection, engagement, knowledge, skills and hope. I am grateful that this program has been with me for the various stages of my caregiving journey- just starting out, finding my path, giving back and finally a place where I am not only valued for my participation but also my time and energy.

I am a military and veteran caregiver and would like to join the Military and Veteran Caregiver Network: https://rly.pt/JoinMVCN

I have served in the U.S. military and would like to learn more about Veteran benefits from the VA: https://rly.pt/3YsOmQi