Posted on Aug 20, 2015
Anyone else have problems making new friends after leaving the military?
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My husband and I are both prior service, we have made a lot of great friends in our career with the military, but since getting out we have had trouble making friends. Can anyone relate?
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Concur.....civilians are hard to get along with....their brains don't work the same as ours......don't get me wrong they will get to the same conclusion as us (usually) but they have to go around their elbow to get to their thumb. And their idea of a "crisis" and our idea of crisis are completely different....me if no one is dead, injured, or shooting at me......it's looking like a good day. I've been out for 4 years and I really talk to no one out side of work (and that's only about work) other than wife but have hopes i'll run into that random guy at Walmart, the local bar, church, somewhere with similar/like interests and background....guess what i'm saying is ....Yes its hard......but don't give up.
Kawika Souza
Ridiculous statements. Most all brains work the same. Training, conditioning, and job requirements are different. After your service you are a civilian, does your brain turn into a "civilian" brain. Interests are interests, if yours are only about the old job, then stick to vets. If you have any interests outside of military like: music, food, travel, books, cars, hunting, shooting, sex, art, photography, surfing, dogs, animal husbandry, scuba diving, sailing, rock climbing, there are millions of topics to talk about and make friends over. Find some.
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5 plus years out now and still concur will my orgional statement ....civilian brains don't work the same as military ones.....and i dont associate with the military anymore...no need commisarry, bx, etc are all overpriced and a rip off (but that's another topic)....medical can be used anywhere.....you're not understanding my comment which is fine but it's this simple....I can tell a fellow retiree after only a few words ....our brains work different....not better or worse....just different....anyway good luck in life ....would recommend finding something other than trying to tell others how their opinions are wrong....but what do i know....God Bless and Keep you
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Wifey and I are both Marine Corps Vets. We have exactly 2 friends outside of family. It's hard to get to know people.
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This is a yet another continuing problem among the Veteran population. Take some time and do a search here on RallyPoint and you'll come across several threads, some that I authored, talking about the military/civilian gap and how we can bridge it.
There are several things we must keep in mind here. First, in general, most Veterans sometimes only feel comfortable around other Veterans. We feel as if our civilian counter parts cannot relate to us. We feel as those our peers at work, not have gone through the same things we have, will not relate to us. We are fearful of branching out, only keeping within our small military friends circle.
One suggestion I make to Veterans is get involved. Find something that you and your husband can do to get involved in your local community. Volunteer some time with an organization that is out in the public. Get to know those around you and soon you may see that you do share some things in common and hopefully a friendship will emerge.
There are several things we must keep in mind here. First, in general, most Veterans sometimes only feel comfortable around other Veterans. We feel as if our civilian counter parts cannot relate to us. We feel as those our peers at work, not have gone through the same things we have, will not relate to us. We are fearful of branching out, only keeping within our small military friends circle.
One suggestion I make to Veterans is get involved. Find something that you and your husband can do to get involved in your local community. Volunteer some time with an organization that is out in the public. Get to know those around you and soon you may see that you do share some things in common and hopefully a friendship will emerge.
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SSG Carlos Madden
I was talking about this the other night with one of my friends. One problem we both related to is that we've developed an often unrealistic expectation of character and thus it's hard to trust, really trust, new people. So inevitably we have put up walls to guard us from these people.
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