Should a Service Member be penalized as part of a Custody Evaluation?

Unfortunately, I experienced a similar scenario. My wife left with my two sons while I was serving on a Transition Team in Iraq. I had to hire an attorney, while going out regularly on missions, who filed an Order to Show Cause for their return. The judge reasoned that he didn't know if I was returning as scheduled and allowed the children to stay in California pending my return. They had been in California, away from their New Jersey home, for two months at that time. They were ordered to return seven months later, and that time was later used against me during the custody trial. There is a big disparity between a parent being away to make money, or some other voluntary reason, and being deployed while serving their country. As you saw in your experience, SGM Marquez, different judge, different outcome. Not objective, nor fair, and devastating to the children. This November will be nine years that they left, and nothing has, nor ever will, be the same. I get to see them four times a year, if there is no interference, and call every night, for a conversation between 1 minute and two hours or so. But they can feel that special feeling, and that is what counts. By they way, I am an attorney who has handled custody and visitation issues, on the civilian side. I can't imagine how others cope, so I still try and help Service Members whenever I can.

Sir, I think an even bigger point is that "too often" is an unspecific amount of time. Being away from my wife for a single night is "too often" (I know this is a stretch, but it highlights the point). As you said, this phrasing isn't logical, and doesn't allow decision makers to make good decisions.

COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM, Sir, if the courts were to look at other professions that keep individuals away from home, I would hope that they also treat them the same as they would military professions.

I don't think it's the military profession that's on trial here, but rather the time spent away from their child. While a sad fact of life, we do spend (on average) a considerable amount of time away from home, making it less of an ideal situation for a child. A court must look at the best interest of the child, not at the nobility of the profession of a child's parent.

I believe the courts should look at the custody agreement based upon a parent's ability to successfully contribute to the child's welfare, while at the same time understanding the parent's profession. If the parent can provide a good home for the child, then let them do so, with the custody agreement taking the profession into consideration (i.e., perhaps make for an equal share custody, with the understanding that if one parent's obligations preclude that parent from having said custody, then their "allotted time" is conceded to the other parent.

At the end of the day, whatever profession we choose, be it military, airline pilot, or otherwise, we do do so on a voluntary basis, with the understanding that our chosen profession may come with consequences, intended or not.

Just my two cents.