Am I supposed to be getting BAH as a dual-military couple who are stationed apart?

This question keep coming up a lot. I have posted this a couple of times but I’ll post it again for you. Your spouse will not be able to receive BAH because she’s at a overseas location. However, you should be receiving BAH without dependent because as a married service member you are not authorized to live in the barracks. There are a lot of bases, that are not aware of this change so to assist you, you can give them this link so they can authorize you your BAH without dependent. Good luck to you, I hope this helps.
https://www.thebalancecareers.com/army-announces-end-to-geographic-bachelors-3353934

BAH is paid for those soldiers authorised by their CO to live off post. If your spouse is not with you and you have no dependents there is no compelling reason for your CO to authorise a move from the barracks. From his/her point of view it is significantly more cost effective for the army to keep you on post. He or she may, at their discretion, authorise you to live off post on your own dime but you may find you of still needing to maintain a room in the barracks and paying full whack for your house/apartment out of base pay with no allowances.
I did this when I was stationed Fort Hood in 1985.
I regretted it.

Oops - Editing on the fly here. I just read SFC Tamala Sherard Hobbs' post -- things have changed since I was in. According to her post you should be getting BAH (and I suspect that if you're getting that you should be getting BAS as well).

Must be stationed together in order to gather BAH. If you are separated and do not meet the pay grade requirements to move out of the barracks. You will receive single soldier pay until you get put on orders together