Posted on Jan 20, 2019
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***This question is posted on behalf of a civilian father (of a junior officer) who requested anonymity.***
My son, whose lifelong ambition was always to be an Army officer, appears to be concluding that he will leave the service after his obligation is up. Although from a military family, I did not serve myself (medical), so I can't speak from experience. I believe he is seen as successful by his leadership. He was ROTC/Nat'l Guard through college, and was made XO of his troop about the same time he was promoted to 1st Lt. - maybe six months ago. He works really long days and Saturdays as well. The discouragement he vocalizes to me is that so many people don't do what they are supposed to, the commands from up high don't make sense from his point of view (which he does admit is limited in the military) and, not surprisingly, the workload is staggering. I know from my experience in the corporate world that any young professional working the hours he says he does would be noted as a future star and would be getting promotions and a lot of positive feedback form leadership. He is a straight shooter, btw, rigorously honest and has always been a hardworker (Eagle Scout, 4.0 GPA in HS, High SATs, etc.) His Myers-Briggs personality profile even closely matches that of Military Officer! So - any advice a Dad could pass along to his son about this? I am worried that he is making a mistake and getting out of the thing that is really right for him. If/when he makes Captain how will things change? Thanks for any insight you can offer.
***Update***
The person who requested this be asked extends their thanks to everyone who responded. There have been a number of insightful answers that will better inform his advice to his son. This feedback has been very helpful to him.
My son, whose lifelong ambition was always to be an Army officer, appears to be concluding that he will leave the service after his obligation is up. Although from a military family, I did not serve myself (medical), so I can't speak from experience. I believe he is seen as successful by his leadership. He was ROTC/Nat'l Guard through college, and was made XO of his troop about the same time he was promoted to 1st Lt. - maybe six months ago. He works really long days and Saturdays as well. The discouragement he vocalizes to me is that so many people don't do what they are supposed to, the commands from up high don't make sense from his point of view (which he does admit is limited in the military) and, not surprisingly, the workload is staggering. I know from my experience in the corporate world that any young professional working the hours he says he does would be noted as a future star and would be getting promotions and a lot of positive feedback form leadership. He is a straight shooter, btw, rigorously honest and has always been a hardworker (Eagle Scout, 4.0 GPA in HS, High SATs, etc.) His Myers-Briggs personality profile even closely matches that of Military Officer! So - any advice a Dad could pass along to his son about this? I am worried that he is making a mistake and getting out of the thing that is really right for him. If/when he makes Captain how will things change? Thanks for any insight you can offer.
***Update***
The person who requested this be asked extends their thanks to everyone who responded. There have been a number of insightful answers that will better inform his advice to his son. This feedback has been very helpful to him.
Posted in these groups: 
Career Advice
Career Advice
Edited 6 y ago
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 6
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Soldiering isn’t for everyone. Long hours, staggering workload, confusing directives...NEVER going to change.
His last name could be Abrams, he could be Summa Cum Laude from Harvard, he could have every badge the Boy Scouts hand out, he can be a hard worker, etc. Ultimately doesn’t matter. He’s working a lot of hours, but not receiving a lot of promotions, positive feedback, or being told how big of a star he is? Honestly, did he expect otherwise?
The best advice is that the Army offers modest benefits for a relatively thankless job. The more you standout, the more work they pile on you. The Army is very much “what have you done for me lately, and what can you do for me tomorrow.” And once a soldier is determined to have little value, the Army moves on from that soldier. Soldiering isn’t for everyone.
His last name could be Abrams, he could be Summa Cum Laude from Harvard, he could have every badge the Boy Scouts hand out, he can be a hard worker, etc. Ultimately doesn’t matter. He’s working a lot of hours, but not receiving a lot of promotions, positive feedback, or being told how big of a star he is? Honestly, did he expect otherwise?
The best advice is that the Army offers modest benefits for a relatively thankless job. The more you standout, the more work they pile on you. The Army is very much “what have you done for me lately, and what can you do for me tomorrow.” And once a soldier is determined to have little value, the Army moves on from that soldier. Soldiering isn’t for everyone.
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LTC Kevin B. I only served four years but I worked long and hard hours during my four years. I loved the Marine Corps but was disgusted that the Marine Corps was not doing enough to clean up the drug problem, which they later addressed. When I was discharged, I worked at a chemical plant as an operator while I obtained my degree. With my degree I started a 33 year civilian career where I worked very long hours and weekends. My job was stressful, direction from higher up did not make sense a lot of times, but I stayed with it. The reason that I stayed was that I loved my career and thought I was doing meaningful work.
As mentioned by MSG (Anonymous), the advice that I would offer to this young man is to find a career where you love the work. Long hours comes with the territory, and you will always have bosses with stupid ideas.
As mentioned by MSG (Anonymous), the advice that I would offer to this young man is to find a career where you love the work. Long hours comes with the territory, and you will always have bosses with stupid ideas.
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LTC Kevin B.
- assumptions: this Officer is AD at his first duty station.
- missing: does derive satisfaction or enjoyment from any other facets?
- being an XO is thankless. It concentrates all the “adulting” in one spot. Supply, maintenance, budget, cleaning up messes, USR, etc.
- I too was disillusioned as a senior LT. My S1 told me the advice his Dad gave him. Don’t decide the Army in one duty assignment. As an officer, command a company before you leave. He’ll go to the advanced course next, get a break, focus on the art/science for a while. New faces, new places. He’ll hit the next post and work toward command. If he doesn’t like it after command, he’s got the experience for a resume and make his way to the exit. The whole time he can be financially planning his exit.
- Army benefit: PCS churn rotates people. Someone you don’t like? Either you or your nemesis is likely to go in a year. Civilian world doesn’t. There is no escape from toxic managers.
- he is about to hit a stretch of Staff Officer time punctuated by Command, PME, possible grad school, and KD assignments. After Company Command he has potential for broadening.
- is there a functional area that may interest him? That could be an answer to like the Army, but don’t like the branch work I do.
If the Army isn’t for you, then please go where you can thrive.
- assumptions: this Officer is AD at his first duty station.
- missing: does derive satisfaction or enjoyment from any other facets?
- being an XO is thankless. It concentrates all the “adulting” in one spot. Supply, maintenance, budget, cleaning up messes, USR, etc.
- I too was disillusioned as a senior LT. My S1 told me the advice his Dad gave him. Don’t decide the Army in one duty assignment. As an officer, command a company before you leave. He’ll go to the advanced course next, get a break, focus on the art/science for a while. New faces, new places. He’ll hit the next post and work toward command. If he doesn’t like it after command, he’s got the experience for a resume and make his way to the exit. The whole time he can be financially planning his exit.
- Army benefit: PCS churn rotates people. Someone you don’t like? Either you or your nemesis is likely to go in a year. Civilian world doesn’t. There is no escape from toxic managers.
- he is about to hit a stretch of Staff Officer time punctuated by Command, PME, possible grad school, and KD assignments. After Company Command he has potential for broadening.
- is there a functional area that may interest him? That could be an answer to like the Army, but don’t like the branch work I do.
If the Army isn’t for you, then please go where you can thrive.
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CPT Lawrence Cable
I'll agree with that. You go from Platoon Leader, which is what we all signed on to be, then you hit XO, which is all those S jobs rolled into one package where it damn hard if not impossible to keep everyone happy. Or anyone sometimes. My advice it to hang in there, Company Command is somewhere soon in the future and I believe most officers see that as one of the big highlights of their career. Staff can either be great or an ordeal. I didn't particularly like S1, but did some time as Assistant Brigade Engineer that I enjoyed a lot. Got out after that for a number of reasons, all of which getting out didn't solve. But that's 20/20 hindsight now.
Oddly enough, probably 75 percent of the questions I answer here comes from my S-1 time.
Oddly enough, probably 75 percent of the questions I answer here comes from my S-1 time.
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LTC Jason Mackay
CPT Lawrence Cable nice build. The XO is the preponderant destination for staff output to the companies.
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