What is your best LT story?

When I was a 2LT (O-1) based out of Schofield Barracks, HI, my unit was over on the big island of Hawaii training for a few weeks. One of the SSG (E-6) in my company hid a rotten oyster inside my MICH helmet, in between the velcro pads at the hard shell. For a week, I kept looking around inside my vehicle (a Stryker) for what that rotten smell was. I smelled awful as well. I couldn't figure out what was smelling like that. Then I finally found the rotten oyster and you should have seen the look on my face. It was a solid prank that ultimately brought us all closer together. I was the new 2LT so I had to go through situations like that for a few months anyway. That NCO ended up being my platoon sergeant in Iraq and was one of the best NCOs I ever served with.

We had an LT in an MI unit who went to the field for the first time and was out of his depth ... and then some. It was kind of sad. He stayed in the TOC tent and was basically of no use to the unit. The word was that he was "homesick." I'm not sure that was it, but whatever it was, it was obvious something was wrong. The troops saw this. And the leadership had to see it as well. Somewhere in his ROTC and officer basic training, he missed something, and in a big way.

He ultimately left the Army as soon as he could. He was able to make it to that point, but I'm sure his evals were poor. He was like a fish out of water when it came to the Army.

Happily (happy endings are nice), he was hired by another federal agency when he left the military, and I heard that he flourished at that other agency. He was an intelligent guy; he just did not have what it takes to be an Army officer.

As a green 2LT and Platoon Leader, I was on my first and only REFORGER (Return Forces to Germany). It was January or February 1990 in Ingolstadt, Germany, and bitterly cold. I was checking my Laundry and Bath site, and noticed that the 1,500 gallon stave tank in the back of the shower tent had a thick coat of ice on it. I took my M16 and used the butt of the rifle to try and crack the ice. Just when I broke the ice, the weapon slipped from my hand and sunk to the bottom of the tank. As I was staring into the tank contemplating how to retrieve my rifle from the icy water, two of my Squad Leaders, Sergeant Warner and Sergeant Burkhalter, appeared from behind me and asked what I was looking at. I explained what happened and told them to fetch me a rake, and not mention the incident to anyone. One retrieved a rake while the other ran back to the company headquarters. When I returned to the headquarters, the Company had formed an impromptu gauntlet that I had to traverse, with my Company Commander at the end waiting with a weapons cleaning kit.