How do you handle negative comments about the military?

So I'm sitting in a bar in Virginia Beach just prior to my last deployment, minding my own business. A few stools down from me are a young woman and I assume her date. He looked like he was a Marine - probably an E-1 or E-2. At some point he gets up to go to the head...er sorry Army, the latrine...er sorry Air Force, the rest room. While he's gone she saddles up next to me and starts up a conversation. A few words in she asks me what I do for a living and I tell her I'm in the Navy - now keep in mind she's on a date with a Marine and I'm old enough to be her father. Shortly after telling her I'm in the Navy she proceeds to tell me that anyone in the military is a piece of shit. She goes on to tell me that she's an "intellectual" which I assume is something her college professor told her to say or be. At that point I ask her if she knows anything about the U.S. military. She says "just what she's seen on TV". At point I ask her if she's aware that it was the US military that fought the British, twice, to giver her the right to say stupid shit. I then ask her if she's aware that it was the power of the US military that freed the slaves or the Filipino people after the Spanish-American War. I then ask her if she's aware that it was the US military that freed Europe twice from dictators including the Nazis and the Pacific from Japanese Imperialism. I ask her if she's aware that it was the US military who kept South Korea and Europe free from Communism and Kuwait free from Saddam Hussein. I then asked her my favorite question of all - "Do you speak Russian or Arabic?" To which she replied "No". I then said "You're welcome." At that point she was bawling at the bar and her date returned from the head ...er sorry Air Force, the powder room. He asked what was wrong and the bartender was laughing so hard he was crying and couldn't even talk as were most of the other patrons siting near the bar. I told the young man I was a Navy Chief and to take her home and find better company in the future. I paid my tab and left whistling "Anchors Aweigh".

I've only had this problem once and I handled it well. I once went to a Pakistani store to purchase some spices for cooking. It was on my way home from work (base) so I stopped by in uniform. That day, another customer came to me and said "yo you a soldier right" I corrected him and told him I'm an Airman. Soldiers are in the army. He then goes "how do you feel about killing innocent muslims?" I told him that I'm Muslim too and we stop others who harm us. then he gets into the whole speach about hurting your own kind and I pretty much shut him up by saying if you were to attack me right now, I would retaliate and I would hope you did the same if I attacked you. I then said that not all our troops are good and not all Muslims are bad. Its just the bad ones that give all of us a bad name. We then proceeded with our shopping.

How you handle someone in person is quite different from how you handle them in a discussion thread. I like to employ the same tactic that I taught my children in dealing with someone who says something offensive or hurtful to them. Tell them that what they have said is hurtful. For example, it's obvious from the uniform in your closet that you have served the nation that the flag represents and yet they say demeaning things about it. Obviously, they are attempting to hurt your feelings. Why would they do that? It's a wonderful way of putting them on the defensive without addressing their wrong headed opinions. Most people don't want to intentionally hurt the feelings of another. If they do, help them in the direction of the door with a swift kick in the pants. However, you'll likely have created cognitive dissonance in them (reality will be out of sync with their perceptions) and they'll be open to new ideas. On the other hand, if you invite them to explain why they would demean the flag, the uniform, or your service, you are opening the door to an exchange of opinions which they will not change regardless of what you do or say. Try my way. It really works.