Autumn of 1621

Once upon a time in the autumn of 1621, the Pilgrims, sporting their latest in black-and-white fashion, decided it was high time to throw a party. They had survived a year in what they called the "New World," which, let's be fair, was only new to them. The Wampanoag people, who had been chilling there for centuries, probably thought, "Oh look, the neighbors finally figured out how to not starve."

The mastermind behind this shindig was Governor William Bradford, who declared, "Let us give thanks!" But this wasn't just any dinner; it was the First Thanksgiving, though they didn't call it that back then. They just called it, "Hey, let's eat before winter comes and we have to wear our hats indoors again."

The Wampanoag, led by Ousamequin (or Massasoit, if you prefer the name given by the English), decided to join in. They brought five deer, which was like bringing the ultimate party platter when you consider the Pilgrims had been living off whatever they could grow or fish. Imagine the surprise when the Wampanoag showed up with enough food to feed an army, or at least 90 of them.

The menu? Well, forget the turkey myth for a moment; what we know is they had venison, various fowl (possibly including wild turkey, but more likely ducks, geese, and swans), fish, and corn. There were no mashed potatoes since potatoes were still chilling in South America, and cranberries were probably not in sauce form but just as they were, because who has time for sauce when you're living off the land?

The entertainment was top-notch, too. The Wampanoag demonstrated their archery skills, which must have been like watching a 17th-century action movie for the Pilgrims. In return, the Pilgrims might have shown off their... well, let's say their enthusiasm for communal singing, which probably wasn't quite as thrilling but was part of the cultural exchange.

Humor was surely present, though not documented. Picture this: a Pilgrim, trying to speak Wampanoag, accidentally asking for a "flying fish" instead of "more venison." Or maybe a Wampanoag warrior, seeing the Pilgrims' buckles on everything, thinking they were some kind of shiny, metal-obsessed tribe.

The feast lasted three days, which is impressive when you think about it. No refrigeration, and yet, everyone managed not to get food poisoning. That's a Thanksgiving miracle if there ever was one.

In the end, this gathering wasn't just about giving thanks for the harvest; it was about forging bonds, learning from each other, and laughing over misunderstandings. It set a precedent for future Thanksgivings, though it would be centuries before it became an official holiday.

So, as we sit down with our turkey (or whatever you're having), let's remember this: the First Thanksgiving was less about the food and more about the laughter, the cultural exchange, and the mutual respect that came from sharing a meal in a new land. And maybe, just maybe, about not taking things too seriously when someone passes you the wrong dish.