Fraternization
Fraternization
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When do you think the line is crossed. Personally, the best mentorship I have ever recieved was from a senior NCO, when I was a SPC(P) and newly promoted SGT in his garage, watching some sporting event or other, a meal, and some drinks. My current duty station has very strong policies regarding NCO and junior enlisted fraternization, not to mention the standard Officer / enlisted fraternization policies. What do YOU think is acceptable, and what is to far?
Posted in these groups: 
Mentorship
Fraternization
Mentorship Fraternization
Edited 10 y ago
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 9
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Mentorship = door open at work. Fraternization (or possible appearance of) = door closed, off post, and especially when alcohol is involved. Young soldiers better keep in mind that "appearance" is often the only difference.
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CSM (Join to see)
MAJ (Join to see) , Well put sir. You have to be careful. The intent my be straight forward, but is is always about the "perception".
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MAJ (Join to see)
SPC (Join to see) Before I joined the Army I worked at a University. One of the first things we were told was "always keep the door open". In both civilian and military, 99% of the people who get in trouble for this stuff set themselves up. My office door is never closed. You might have done nothing, but 1 pissed off person can end your career if you're not careful.
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When I first joined, my first line supervisor eventually became a friend and mentor not only for work but off duty too. I kept my professionalism though and always called him by his rank and name. It wasn't until a few years later, about the time I got a supply room of my own, did I start calling him by his first name but only when we were at his house and both in civilian clothes. We are still friends to this day. Sadly, many people don't know how to separate the friendship from professionalism.
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If you are looking at mentorship is not going to a bar and kicking some back. Mentorship is when you have on person take another under their wing and teach them the ropes. Getting them to be a better leader.
Fraternization is when you and that same person are involved in things that do not deal with the military. With that being said I will not take one E4 to the bar for a drink. I will take the entire platoon for a drink to show that I care as their PLT SGT.
The line is very bold and dark. There is no reason for you to be going and hanging out with your leadership as a lower enlisted. All it takes is one person to assume that something is going on and guess what? That thing is going on even if it is not going on. You have to be very careful.
Fraternization is when you and that same person are involved in things that do not deal with the military. With that being said I will not take one E4 to the bar for a drink. I will take the entire platoon for a drink to show that I care as their PLT SGT.
The line is very bold and dark. There is no reason for you to be going and hanging out with your leadership as a lower enlisted. All it takes is one person to assume that something is going on and guess what? That thing is going on even if it is not going on. You have to be very careful.
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Cpl Kevin Osborne
I think that this stigma that everyone must fear is destructive. When I first joined the Corps everyone up through E-5 popped on a piss test and was being kicked out! Those that I had attended school with did not have leaders to learn from for at least the first two years.
On top of that my uncle was an O-5, working on the other side of the base in a completely different field and, while I lived in the barracks for all four years, not once did he invite me over for dinner. The only time that I saw him is when he pinned me for E-4. One of the reasons that I joined the Corps was to follow in his footsteps.
From my experience; officers were given more guidance and mentorship than enlisted. I was looking through my SRB a few years ago and it said that I was a very bright Marine, but needed to find something to challenge me or I was going to leave.
I was well into my third year when we finally received a leader, an E-7 that asked me point blank, "what course are you going to take in college"? Would have been nice to have had someone to bounce ideas off of and actually map out a career path with.
Except for the E-7 my experience with those that chose to re-enlist was very low. Looking back on the past 20 years, I wish that I had chosen to make a career out of the Corps.
I chose to learn all that I could about leadership and became a Certified Mentor while I was working as an IT Specialist at the VA Hospital.
I guess my point is; how many missed opportunities are there to provide guidance because of rank?
I do like the leadership that some of the other posters were able to exude during their service.
On top of that my uncle was an O-5, working on the other side of the base in a completely different field and, while I lived in the barracks for all four years, not once did he invite me over for dinner. The only time that I saw him is when he pinned me for E-4. One of the reasons that I joined the Corps was to follow in his footsteps.
From my experience; officers were given more guidance and mentorship than enlisted. I was looking through my SRB a few years ago and it said that I was a very bright Marine, but needed to find something to challenge me or I was going to leave.
I was well into my third year when we finally received a leader, an E-7 that asked me point blank, "what course are you going to take in college"? Would have been nice to have had someone to bounce ideas off of and actually map out a career path with.
Except for the E-7 my experience with those that chose to re-enlist was very low. Looking back on the past 20 years, I wish that I had chosen to make a career out of the Corps.
I chose to learn all that I could about leadership and became a Certified Mentor while I was working as an IT Specialist at the VA Hospital.
I guess my point is; how many missed opportunities are there to provide guidance because of rank?
I do like the leadership that some of the other posters were able to exude during their service.
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SFC(P) Tobias M.
Cpl Kevin Osborne - you are very right in this. My thing is we have to be careful when dealing with people. There are way to many people out there that are trying to get people into trouble. I have seen it many times where an E7 who was trying to help an E1-4 pass their pt test and get accused of many things that were not true at all. Something needs to be done with the person that dose this for their personal gain.
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