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Ever had a talk with someone who is a much better person than you are. No, I don't mean your wife, your children...or your Mom/Dad. I mean someone who has lived through hell, and forgiven those that caused the pain.
I know many of you on RP, have suffered the ravages of War, came back- and somehow learned to love again, to laugh again, to play with your children and hide your pain.
I know some of you have grown so much you could sit down with the "Enemy" and have both a beer...and respect. That is a testimony of how strong the Human Spirit can be. As one of my favorite Western Writers once said:
"Wherever that man is from, they cut them wide and deep. They ride the high country." Yes, they do.
But I am talking about someone who was an innocent person, whom their life was transformed by a moment of hate. Sadly... we have multiple thousand of those incidents to choose from in our country. I won't repeat what happened, it was horrific. The end result was that her husband was shot and killed right in front of her. By a young kid.
Eventually, she learned to forgive that kid. How? Don't ask me. I have lots of love in me, but enough to forgive that? No. I don't think so. I hope never to have to know if I could...or not. But she did. I got to meet her, after the speech. What I learned is that she didn't forgive the act...she forgave the person. It took that kid 20 years in Prison before he understood what he had taken away from her. Then he apologized. For real. Sincerely. He calls her: "A saint." I would too.
When I shook her hand and chatted, I realized that I was in the presence of a Human Being with more Humanity in her than I could fathom.
My Dad used to say: "Take the high road, be a bigger man, than the other guy." Yeah, those standards are hard enough to meet. To love and forgive, and move on...like that Lady. Maybe the guy was right. A saint.
I know many of you on RP, have suffered the ravages of War, came back- and somehow learned to love again, to laugh again, to play with your children and hide your pain.
I know some of you have grown so much you could sit down with the "Enemy" and have both a beer...and respect. That is a testimony of how strong the Human Spirit can be. As one of my favorite Western Writers once said:
"Wherever that man is from, they cut them wide and deep. They ride the high country." Yes, they do.
But I am talking about someone who was an innocent person, whom their life was transformed by a moment of hate. Sadly... we have multiple thousand of those incidents to choose from in our country. I won't repeat what happened, it was horrific. The end result was that her husband was shot and killed right in front of her. By a young kid.
Eventually, she learned to forgive that kid. How? Don't ask me. I have lots of love in me, but enough to forgive that? No. I don't think so. I hope never to have to know if I could...or not. But she did. I got to meet her, after the speech. What I learned is that she didn't forgive the act...she forgave the person. It took that kid 20 years in Prison before he understood what he had taken away from her. Then he apologized. For real. Sincerely. He calls her: "A saint." I would too.
When I shook her hand and chatted, I realized that I was in the presence of a Human Being with more Humanity in her than I could fathom.
My Dad used to say: "Take the high road, be a bigger man, than the other guy." Yeah, those standards are hard enough to meet. To love and forgive, and move on...like that Lady. Maybe the guy was right. A saint.
Forgiveness
Justice
Spirituality
Love
Posted 4 mo ago
Responses: 2
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It took me a full week to start forgiving the kid who shot me. And a full month to fully forgive him.
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SGT Kevin Hughes
Oh. My. God. How did you do that? I mean if it doesn't bring up old wounds, the rest of us wouldn't even know where to start. And you began within a week of being shot? That is the kind of stuff that makes people like me stand in awe.
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SFC Casey O'Mally
SGT Kevin Hughes a confluence of factors, but here are the primary 2:
1) I believe that the kid (and he was a kid - only 16) pulled the trigger FAR more out of fear than malice. He stole my car while I was delivering a pizza and then when I turned to confront him, he shot and drove away. If I had just let him go, he would have gone. If I had not started shouting at him and charging at my car, he would not have shot me. I scared him and he shot.
While that does not mean his actions are excusable, I can nonetheless forgive his fear and his actions out of fear.
2) I learned a long time ago that forgiveness does more for you than the person you forgive. You can't fully heal from these types of events while you still hold on to the pain. And you can't let go of the pain until you forgive.
Of course, that doesn't mean it is EASY. But knowing it is necessary makes it easiER.
1) I believe that the kid (and he was a kid - only 16) pulled the trigger FAR more out of fear than malice. He stole my car while I was delivering a pizza and then when I turned to confront him, he shot and drove away. If I had just let him go, he would have gone. If I had not started shouting at him and charging at my car, he would not have shot me. I scared him and he shot.
While that does not mean his actions are excusable, I can nonetheless forgive his fear and his actions out of fear.
2) I learned a long time ago that forgiveness does more for you than the person you forgive. You can't fully heal from these types of events while you still hold on to the pain. And you can't let go of the pain until you forgive.
Of course, that doesn't mean it is EASY. But knowing it is necessary makes it easiER.
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SGT Kevin Hughes
SFC Casey O'Mally - Wow. The Lady I heard speak, her husband was killed by a fifteen year old kid trying to look "tough" . She aid much the same thing you did. She told her husband to confront the kid...and like your story...that triggered the rest. I hope you are healthy and healed. And your ability to forgive and analyze what you could have done to help the situation is just remarkable. "I can forgive his fear. One of the most profound comments I have ever read.
Thanks for sharing. Wow. You go Girl!
Thanks for sharing. Wow. You go Girl!
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I have ran into and read about Saints. Chose Bitterness and hate and it destroys you. Chose forgiveness and you get freedom. There is the old story about the native American whose son came to him angry and up set. The Father sits down and says,”son, we have two wolves within us that fight. One is mean, angry, bitter full of hate. The other is kind loving and peaceful.” The son asked ,” father which one wins”. The father replied,” the one you feed.”
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SGT Kevin Hughes
Never heard the Wolf story before...and I Agee with the Father. You have to feed emotions...and we have gotten pretty good at feeding the wrong wolf. Thanks so much for that. When my grandkids return from Vacation ...I will relay that story.
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