“Forever Forward!”

The above title reminds me of something that I wrote many years ago.

The Reverse Gear
(A March 25, 1988 Meditation)

I remember an Episcopal priest-friend of mine saying that we are traveling into the future in reverse gear. We are looking backwards and all we can see is where we’ve been. We cannot see our future; we see our past. The friend made this observation five years ago (forty years ago now!). It has not been on my mind, consciously, in a very long time.

Today, I am backing my car down a very long driveway. I am looking backwards with the use of my car’s outside mirror on the driver’s side. I turn the steering wheel to correct for navigation awkwardness. The car movements make me think of worm wigglings. I overcompensate for jumping the driveway curb. I crash the driver’s, outside mirror into a tree branch that I don’t see. The breakage is alarming. I am in shock because I am backing slowly and looking carefully. Though I thought I was vigilant and watchful, I evidently wasn’t. My mirror breaks into a thousand pieces and is now worthless. The mirror now has no value. It’s useless.

I continue backing down the narrow driveway without turning my head around to see and without the use of my driver’s, outside mirror. I am heading into the future backwards and I cannot figure out where I am going let alone knowing of my progress or how far the journey.

I remember my December 13, 1983 Meditation, "The Embarrassment." In this particular meditation, I am a wheel well on a car. The wheel well has a backup light. . . .