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An interesting story about how the "decoy stories" a veteran told his friends affected his relationship with them and his family. This was the first time I'd heard of this way of answering the tons of questions I'm sure most veterans get, and how he perceived it versus how his friends and family did. He also mentions the best way people reacted once he stopped telling the decoy stories.
The Real Decoy.
Posted from thisamericanlife.org
Relationships
Radio
Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF)
Posted 8 y ago
Responses: 2
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What's the lesson here? Keep everything "real" bottled up inside? No. That's not healthy. Tell funny stories? Few people are adept (my wife can't remember a punch line to save her life). Don't associate with people who "can't handle the truth"? Seems to be a lot of those but they have safe zones, don't they? Ah well, it seems the lesson is the same as it's always been: Damned it you do, damned if you don't.
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Mike Pape (RP Staff)
My take away as a civilian was more from the last bit of advice on how to behave if/when you ask one of these questions. If you're going to ask about something this personal of a veteran, be prepared for an honest answer and be respectful of how much that answer means to the person you asked. This isn't the equivalent of a "how was your day" type question, this can be much more meaningful than that.
From the perspective of Michael Pitre (the interviewee in the story), I think he came to realize that neither extreme is healthy or helpful, but he had to strike some balance.
From the perspective of Michael Pitre (the interviewee in the story), I think he came to realize that neither extreme is healthy or helpful, but he had to strike some balance.
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