NBA Baffled Why No One Wants To Watch Millionaire Athletes Disrespect The Country That Gave Them...

Speaking to a reporter who was on his way to cover something people cared about more than the NBA finals, like a supermarket opening, or a really big pothole, Mr. Fully-Blind said, “I can’t understand it. These NBA stars are very, very good at bouncing a ball up and down and then throwing it through a metal hoop, so why don’t people want to watch them spit on the memories of men who fought and died to defend the country they’re disrespecting for no reason?”