A Marine major, two Naval Academy students and a flawed sexual assault investigation

Sgt Kelli Mays I've noticed that most scandals have several common denominators; alcohol, sex, and making poor decisions as a result of alcohol consumption. At the age of 23 you're supposed to be making adult decisions about your behavior. I find it striking that three of Stadler's comrades said she is untrustworthy, that 90% of the calls are initiated from her to him, that the two females shared a text about getting their story straight. That said, he's still a Maj. and they were midshipmen, so as the Senior he should have discouraged her calling, they shouldn't have known where he lived so that they could stop by his house to "use the bathroom, he shouldn't have been having parties at his house or fraternizing with midshipmen whether they were male or female.

Was he guilty of fraternization? Yes. Along with that, then, goes Conduct Unbecoming of an Officer. The "He said/She said" of a Sexual Assault charge is where this got murky.

I know this individual personally. While there's no way for me to know if he indeed did the things of which he is convicted, I DO know that he engaged in at least one other inappropriate relationship with a married woman.

Wow what a story! I read the entire article with a former Marine Corps JAG Attorney's fascination for the truth. As usual the truth in these kinds of convoluted sexual relationship scenarios is somewhere between what he says happened and what she says happened. I blame alcohol, poor decision making of both the senior and the junior. As the senior he must shoulder more of the blame for any of this happening. I cannot believe that Academy Rules do not strictly prohibit inappropriate relationship between academy staff and instructors and Middies.

There are very good reasons for the UCMJ fraternization rules that prohibit and limit the interactions of Senior Officers with Junior Officers and/or enlisted. It seems clear from the recovered text messages on the former Midshipman and later Ensign's old cell phone she recovered, that an academy staff member/instructor/professor (The Major) had a wildly inappropriate relationship with a student, that spun out of control, and may have at some point became a sexual assault. Add the booze, and you are just asking for trouble.

As a married man (I know the major wasn't married) I avoid socializing with single women or married women, one on one, for obvious reasons, and I do not drink with an opposite sex person because you are just asking for trouble. I live a very boring life, and come home to my son and wife, after work.

I don't normally attend Attorney functions, social mixers, etc. and if I did, I would not drink. People are weak, even the strongest of us, like General Petraeus, and I am certainly not as strong willed or as disciplined as he is. The last thing most of us need or really want is an extra-marital affair that destroys our kid's and spouse's and our own lives. I try to come from a place of humility that avoids the craving for or need for "excitement" that might come from a short term affair. I always think of the long term damage you will do to numerous lives. I also do not want to live with the shame of knowing I violated something as sacred like my marriage. So avoid placing yourself in a situation that could lead to something. Remember the person that you are called to be.

I once heard a Marine Officer say that we are called to be exceptional and extraordinary men and women, when we accept our commissions as Officers in the US Military. It is something you try to live up to everyday, whether you are still in or out of the military. The last thing the world might remember about you if you chose the VA Military Headstone that is the final "fringe benefit" of your military service is your name and final rank and branch of service. Try to live up to that honor. Everyday.
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