How Movement and Exercise Can Help Us Heal From Trauma

Everyone should exercise. It's good for the body and soul. My only regret is I use to be a very good athlete. Now with every step I take when I jog I think of my mortality and the mantra DON'T QUIT. I want to roll over like a dead turtle but people driving their cars would laugh at me. As I run I smell fields wafting in the air. Sometimes there is an intense sweetness as if I was smelling a bakery. That is how sweet it smells and I wonder where is it emanating from? What is producing that brilliant aroma. I see beautiful old trees with large winding branches. Construction of new homes, and I think about how my ex effed up my credit so I can't buy a home now. I see small ponds, are they stocked with fish? Once in awhile I would see a huge flock of mid sized black birds flying randomly together and I think who controls the formation as the flock flies randomly in the air in a black formation. I curse when I run up hill and running downhill is so much easier. Sometimes in Kansas the wind will reach 30 MPH when I run and one time it just stopped me in my tracks. I muse that I am no longer a spring chicken but an old fucker. I wonder how much more time do I have on earth to exist? What must I accomplish before I am no more? I see the finish line and I exhort myself to keep running despite my agony. I finally reach it and walk a quarter mile to my house. I am depressed by now. Then I jump on RP to find COL Burrough's post. He gives me a venue for me to pretend I know shit and somehow there is value to what I type. I am stuck in this groundhog day mode that I can't escape. Perhaps I am somewhat lucky because my expectations are rather simple and I hardly have any ego to feed. Maybe life is a simple equation. I give to the world. The world gives to me, good or bad. In the complexity of the world. I am a simple equation.

No I am not drinking I quit 7 years ago. I am not smoking weed because I can't find any.