A Scary Time

I feel sorry for this poor girl.

Life is scary if you live it like a victim. Take control, enjoy the surprises that life offers, and make good decisions to mitigate the dangers of everyday living.

Teach your daughters to defend themselves will decrease how much you have to worry about them! My daughter was attacked her freshman year at college she beat the hell out of the guy! I've done everything I could to make sure none of my kids become victims.

If you are so afraid of false allegations of rape/sexual assault, as well as potential sexual assault/rape from a woman, then here is a list of things you need to do to prevent it: (With a tip of the hand and some thanks to Danielle Muscato)

1. If you go to a party, either have only one drink, or only drink soda or water, so you can keep your wits about you. Never leave your drink on the table and walk away for a few minutes. Make sure you go directly to the bar and watch the bartender pour the drink and hand it to you. Never let your eyes off of your drink at any time. If someone is at your table and leaning toward you, put your hand over your drink. Never get tipsy around people you don't know and trust fully—it could come back to haunt you later. Even around people you fully trust, remember that most false rape allegations come from people you know. Be vigilant!

2. Use the buddy system, so you always have a witness! Only go to the bathroom with a friend, or ideally with a group of friends. Always have a friend walk you to your car, in case you run into a strange woman in the parking garage. Never go camping or hiking or biking or running or even just walking alone. NEVER go to a bar or concert or party or event alone; that is just asking for it.

3. If you're going out anywhere, make sure you text the specifics of your plans to at least one or two trusted friends, in case they need to verify your whereabouts to police later. You may also consider using a location sharing app so you have proof of where you were and when. This is also very helpful just in case you become a missing person and there is a need for the police to be able to find you. If they aren't able to find you alive, at least they can find your body and hopefully the woman who sexually assaulted then killed you.

4. If you're going to exercise, make sure that you bring a friend, or even better, just exercise at home. Never go through a park alone. There might be a woman there who could accuse you. And if you are going to go out and exercise, make sure you wear the proper attire so that a woman won't be sexually aroused and want to rape you.

5. When you're heading to class or work, never listen to music or podcasts on headphones. You need to listen carefully to your surroundings to make sure no woman is accusing you of anything. You also need to be very aware of your surroundings so that you can determine if a woman is stalking you. Look into store windows to see if there is a reflection of a woman following you. Keep turning your head to look at all sides of you, including your back to see if a woman is following you. Jot down the license plate number of any woman following you in a car. Remember not to yell for help but to yell fire so that people will actually call the police.

6. When you're getting into your car at the end of the day, always check your backseat to make sure there aren't any women hiding back there. Never take shortcuts through alleys or parking lots that aren't extremely well lit, in case a woman is hiding there, waiting to accuse you. If you have to walk through an area that is not extremely well lit, put your keys in between your fingers so that you can use that to strike at the woman attacker. Carry pepper spray in your other hand. Make sure that you are wearing running shoes as higher heels are harder to run in.

7. Only take out the trash, walk the dog, get your mail, go to the ATM, or get gas during daylight hours. Most false rape accusations happen at night, and you don't want to become a statistic. If you MUST go out alone at night, make sure to get your phone out of your pocket and start recording video. Grasp the phone between your fingers so it's not obvious, but keep it ready in case a strange woman approaches you.

8. It's expensive to take Uber or Lyft all the time, I know. But never use public transportation after dark. It's just too risky. Indecent exposure and groping accusations are very common on the subway, and you can easily avoid this by simply taking a cab instead. Protect yourself.

9. Never rent ground-floor apartments, and make sure you lock all your windows at night, even if it's hot out. You never know if a woman is going to break into your bedroom to accuse you while you are asleep.

10. Never ever wear provocative clothing. Make sure that your clothing is very modest. Do not wear things such as cut off T-shirts, underwear shirts, short shorts, Speedos, go without a shirt, bathrobe, etc. This is true even if you are just walking out of your house to get the paper or mail. Your veracity of saying that you were falsely accused will depend upon what you are wearing at the time of the alleged false accusation.

11. Last but not least, even if you follow all these tips, you could still be falsely accused. After all, no matter what steps you take to prevent it, it's simply a fact of life that every year, a low single-digit percentage of rape allegations will turn out to be false, on par with other false allegations of felonies, and that's just a sad truth we all have to live with. You can take precautions, but that's all you can do.
Hope this helps.