Extremely long post, but please read. God has been so good to us, and I need share this.
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Where does a man start?
I sacrificed a great deal for our Nation, as we all have. However, with all that I have done and been through, it is extremely difficult to express my gratitude without telling where we have been and where we are headed, because I really do not know how to quantify it without sharing this much. The last 3 years of my life have been, at best, a whirlwind of changes. We have suffered through much.
That being said, if you don't want to spend the time reading this extremely long post, I understand completely. What I hope to do, however, is to help someone struggling or battling things in their lives.
Understand this before you go any further; I'm dying. It's just the way it is. A lung transplant may save me, but because of other illnesses inherited with these service connected disabilities, there are many processes I will have to go through first, and they will be taxing.
We are all dying, this is nothing new. I have just amped up the process. Sort of "kickstarted it", if you will. I've never smoked a day in my life because I wanted to keep my lungs healthy. Now, they are wasting away; ain't that a kick in the pants. I have always thought of these illnesses as a going away present from the great State of Iraq, LOL.
I've never been much for complaining. As far back as I can remember, it just hasn't been my cup of tea. The military just solidified my desire to let things slide off me.
That being said, there is a quote that I heard once, "The cost of living is dying." It is unavoidable. Death is the great equalizer. Everything physical about us from the time we are conceived is individualistic. Even identical twins aren't completely identical. Every single person in the world has physical traits, speech patterns, hair lines, wrinkles, lisps, etc. physically speaking, we are not the same. Dying, however, the method in which it happens may vary, but the end result is the same: no pulse and no heartbeat.
I say all of this because no man or woman should live their life in fear of death. I am blessed. We sent brothers home in caskets. Those brothers, as well as their families, would give anything if they were suffering these illnesses instead of lying in their caskets. Time, it is precious. I think about what is happening to my lungs and body now, and all I can think of is how blessed and fortunate I am to have been given this gift of time to go out on my terms, and to use it for all it's worth; that's how I honor my fallen brothers.
My injuries from Iraq were not readily visible from the outside. However, before 10 years had passed after my last deployment, I found that I was slowly dying from a progressive airway disease, and the only chance of recovery is a double lung transplant. No medicine has stopped this process, so I daily race a bit closer to that finish line, in which I honestly hope to cross with dignity and honor.
Losing the house, losing what little we had in savings, having utilities cut off every other month and not knowing how we would get them turned on. It was a daily struggle to survive. My wife had to quit work to take care of me, and it would take over a year before my disability benefits would kick in. We lost over half of our household income because I was not completely vested in my retirement from my fire department, so we had very little income, and I could not work due to the severity of my disease process.
The love that we have been shown from all of my friends has been incredible.
I believe that we should all endeavor to lead an honorable life, and through this, a man can build lasting friendships that will stand the test of time.
However, what all of my friends have done goes far beyond friendship.
When a man loses his ability to provide for his family, he loses a bit of that pride in himself. Or, at least a lost a bit of pride and dignity in myself.
I have trusted God implicitly on this road we were forced to detour on. I have done my best to keep complaints to a minimum, and strive to use my life to try to encourage others along the way.
I've failed more times than I have succeeded along the way, but my friends and family have stuck with me, and I have found my circle of friends grow exponentially.
The Ten Commandments artwork pictured below was the one Vicki (my wife) has been wanting for over 5 years now. Ever since the day Family Christian Bookstore in Fultondale (just outside of Birmingham, Alabama) got it, she has wanted this. At over $400, we simply could not afford it.
About a week or two ago, I posted a picture of this on Facebook. We had moved out of Fultondale, and since the store was going out of business, I was asking my friends who lived around there to let me know when their price would drop to where we could afford it with our income tax refund, hoping the price would drop allowing us to purchase it before someone else did.
Today, I went to Family Christian, and I found this (see the attached photos). The staff would only say that some people had all pulled together and purchased it for us.
This was not a need. We did not have to have this in order to survive, so that makes this gift even more precious.
My van is needing repairs to keep running, because it is our sole source of transportation for my power chair. I was contacted by a friend who got one of his friends in touch with me, and after we talked, he placed an order for the parts for the van.
I fully expected to pay for the job, and while it would have been incredibly tight for us, and we would have had to have waited until the first of April, we still could have afforded it.
I was told by the mechanic that he was told to "just handle it," and we were taken care of.
Yet another friend from out of state has sent us some assistance to help with our out of pocket expenses since we will be using UAB Hospital in Birmingham, Alabama for the lung transplant (VA policies will not allow them to do the procedure on a patient with tracheobronchialmalacia).
Once again, we could make it, but that's what makes these individuals special.
My service to our Country; it was work, a job. Granted, I'm extremely patriotic and I felt a great sense of pride and dignity while donning the uniform, I have always felt the Army and our Country has done more for me than I could ever do for our Country.
After a tornado struck our home in 2011, we had friends come out of the woodwork to help us. In 2014, when I was first diagnosed, we had friends at work pitch in together and pay for the labor, equipment and cement to pour a drive to the front of our house since I could no longer make it up the stairs from the garage. Over $3000, and over 100 friends from my fire department pitched in, and over 50 of them showed and donated their time to pour the drive.
In 2014, nearing Christmas, we were already behind on our utilities. A friend approached me and asked to speak to me. While talking, he wrote a check for $5000. Keep in mind, I had not told anyone of our financial crisis, and God was the only person I asked for help with this problem.
The money was enough to catch us up on the utilities and the mortgage. Later in the month, I was visited by one of my brothers from the Hoover Fire Department (my job, which it pained my greatly to leave, as I believe it was the best job a man could have) who brought us funds collected from the department and gave them to us to purchase Christmas. They also brought us a check from a neighboring fire department, almost all of whom I had worked with or knew as brothers and friends. In total, he delivered us $3000, and then a Publix Grocery Store gift card for $300 for groceries, that way we could put the cash towards Christmas (before this, we had no money for Christmas for the family). It must be noted that we never told anyone we were hurting financially. For all they knew, everything was going fine. They didn't do it because we asked, or even because they knew we had a need; they did it because they cared.
Throughout 2015 we were behind on bills. Each time, our friends would bring us relief. We rarely asked for help, but help was always there whether we asked for it or not. There were times when we didn't need help, and we still received gifts to help us make it.
A friend from another state sent me a brand new computer, simply to make it easier for me to do the devotionals I began posting on Facebook. This allowed me to actually create a page (In Every Moment) on Facebook and purchase a domain to create the website InEveryMoment.net.
Yet another complete stranger from another state sent me an anonymous package with a Reformation Study Bible and a check for $500, which covered the $495 in utilities in which we were behind. The letter stated he or she had seen my speech at the 2015 Freedom Award ceremony, where I had been awarded this honor for my service to our Nation as a soldier, and the City of Hoover as a firefighter/paramedic, the city I worked for prior to this illness taking me out of the job. The note attached to the Bible read, "I feel that, from your speech, you are a Christian. However, if you are not, use this Bible to begin that journey. It is my belief that you are a Christian, and if that be the case, use this book daily to strengthen your faith."
There again, no one knew we were suffering. I never mentioned it, the anonymous donor simply loved those who served our Nation, and the speech moved him/her to bless us with that gift.
From across the Country, we were getting letters encouraging us, providing relief. It went beyond charity as the definition relating to assistance, and actually was a representation of the true definition of charity, which is love.
I have received visits from all of my friends. Our neighbors in the subdivision in which we lost our house had become more than neighbors. Every single one had become family, and that bond was only made stronger by the tornado which devastated our community.
Hundreds of times we have received assistance. I can remember every single card, note, text, dessert, meal, check and contribution to keep our head above water.
God had impressed upon me many years ago to strive to lead an honorable life.
Understand, there is a difference between having honor, and trying to lead an honorable life. Honor indicates and denotes an act or feeling. An example is that a thief can honor his or her partner (this contradicts the phrase "there is no honor among thieves", which is incorrect on a technicality). However, his or her honor of their partner does not indicate they have led an honorable life, because an "honorable life" means that you distribute that measure of honor and respect to everyone you meet, whether you like them or not.
You treat everyone on the level; you make yourself no better or no less than any man or woman you run into.
An honorable life recognizes that you are not perfect, and instead of hiding those imperfections, you put them out front so others do not have to guess at who you are. It means being painfully honest, and still being able to maintain those friendships.
An honorable life puts others before oneself. It is spent in pursuit of leaving the world in a better place than when you found it. It means that in your work, your friendships, your relationships and your commitments; you put everything into them, holding nothing back.
God has blessed me with friends across this Nation, and even a couple from other countries, who continually check on us and pray for us. They go above and beyond what is expected of friends, and many times give of themselves to me much more than I could ever give back to them.
I would like to thank my brothers and sisters on RallyPoint and SAVL for also being a source of support and strength. I miss the military and my job. I am not able to get out much, so the RP community and the SAVL community have been my connection to others who have made sacrifices for something greater than themselves.
The RallyPoint and SAVL community is strong, and is honest. I don't like hearing what I "want" to hear, I want to hear what I "need" to hear. There is a significant distinction between the two, and I can always count on this community to provide feedback I need, and not just to "tickle my ears."
RallyPoint and SAVL, two of our military and veteran's biggest allies. Hats off to those who created and operate each.
To all of our younger brothers and sisters on here, strive to lead an honorable life, I can promise you will not regret it.
Stay strong my brothers and sisters in arms, and God bless you.