Bill Kirby Jr.: Judge's unbelievable compassion for a veteran

PTSD. War Trauma. Moral Injury. The things you saw, that people should not see. The things you done, that people should not have to do. The smells. The sounds. Everything. And of course, the friends you lost. This is one of the most amazing and compassionate stories I have ever read or been told personally by a Combat Vet, about someone caring enough to share a Vet's struggle, to the point of going to jail with him, even if for one night.

The Vet has to live in the jail of his mind and soul until (if ever) he makes peace with and within himself with his demons. It can be a lifetime sentence. I know. I have seen it first hand in my family of combat vets from WWII, Korea and Vietnam. From my grandfather John Lagos (US Navy Combat Gunner in the Pacific War on three navy War Ships, a destroyer -The Gridley, Lt Cruiser-The USS San Diego and ended the war on a Hvy Cruiser -the USS Guam), and my father's older brother Uncle Joe Peralta (US Army Infantryman-Korean War), Cousins and Uncles from the Vietnam War (the worst hit with PTSD from Vietnam was my 2nd cousin Raul Zubia, US Army Combat Medic- Americal Division), they all came back fundamentally changed from their wars, and some had it worst than others. But all have had to fight to tame their demons and their PTSD, some more successfully than others.

My PTSD WWII Kamikaze surviving US Navy Gunner grandfather never made peace, and I saw that man slowly drink himself to death after my grandmother passed away. She had kept him together and helped him keep his war demons at bay for fifty years. When she died, he no longer wanted to live, and he never saw a shrink his whole life other than Dr. Beer Bottle, MD for all of his post-war, PTSD years.

Some of my earliest memories of life, are of going to the Norco, CA, American Legion as a toddler in the late sixties with my grandfather so he could drink a little and be around other WWII Vets. Allegedly, Audie Murphy bounced me on his knee, there. My Aunt, his daughter, now in her sixties, tells me how much she hated living with him, and growing up as the daughter of a PTSD, Alcoholic, WWII Combat Vet. Does she forgive him? Of course. But it does not change how he made his home life for his kids an unpleasant experience for them all, and they all left home as soon as possible - my mom to college at 18, my uncle signed up for the Navy for four years during the Vietnam War at 17 with parental permission (and became a carrier sailor and Airdale who was stationed on the USS Constellation on Yankee Station during intense bombing combat ops for 120 days), partly to get away from that dysfunctional home, and my Aunt ran off to be a hippie in the 60s, and eventually went to India to follow some Guru to exercise her demons.

If you are a Vet with these problems from your war experiences, get help, please. Don't kill yourself either quickly or slowly. That won't make things better for your family. Get better. There are many vets and many others who will be there for you. Don't isolate. Join the American Legion or other Vet support groups. Seek out a support system. You will find it if you try. God Bless and Be Well!