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Don't Ask for a Mentor- Ask for Advice !
Mentorship is the voluntary developmental relationship the exists between a person of greater experience and a person of lessor experience that is characterized by mutual trust and respect. (AR 600-100)
There is no predetermined manner in which one enters into a Mentor-Mentee relationship. You generally do not ask for mentorship, it is a natural unspoken expansion of an existing relationship. Mentorship is a very personal and voluntary evolution based on trust and chemistry. This generally starts with the less experienced member asking for simple advice (Personal or Professional). If the advice given is "Not Awesome" the less experienced person will likely not return for future help. Similarly, if the more experienced person doesn't see potential or feels there are ulterior motives he or she will walk away. However, once a mentorship begins there are three communication decisions to make: Frequency, Medium, and Topics. The needs of the mentee and the maturity of the relationship determines the frequency of interaction. In our experience, the amount of mentorship increases and decreases constantly over time. A pattern also develops on the type of communication (Face to Face/ Phone/ Written). The most effective and efficient method for both parties is critical as their lives and geographic location change. The topics of conversation are limitless, but finding common ground that aligns with the mentor's expertise and the mentee's need is critical to the relationship's growth. Having participated in the mentor/mentee selection and method of communication process no less than 30 times, one thing remained constant in each process. Never have the following words been spoken, "Will you be my mentor?" Each started with someone asking for advice!
Mentorship is the voluntary developmental relationship the exists between a person of greater experience and a person of lessor experience that is characterized by mutual trust and respect. (AR 600-100)
There is no predetermined manner in which one enters into a Mentor-Mentee relationship. You generally do not ask for mentorship, it is a natural unspoken expansion of an existing relationship. Mentorship is a very personal and voluntary evolution based on trust and chemistry. This generally starts with the less experienced member asking for simple advice (Personal or Professional). If the advice given is "Not Awesome" the less experienced person will likely not return for future help. Similarly, if the more experienced person doesn't see potential or feels there are ulterior motives he or she will walk away. However, once a mentorship begins there are three communication decisions to make: Frequency, Medium, and Topics. The needs of the mentee and the maturity of the relationship determines the frequency of interaction. In our experience, the amount of mentorship increases and decreases constantly over time. A pattern also develops on the type of communication (Face to Face/ Phone/ Written). The most effective and efficient method for both parties is critical as their lives and geographic location change. The topics of conversation are limitless, but finding common ground that aligns with the mentor's expertise and the mentee's need is critical to the relationship's growth. Having participated in the mentor/mentee selection and method of communication process no less than 30 times, one thing remained constant in each process. Never have the following words been spoken, "Will you be my mentor?" Each started with someone asking for advice!
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 28
How do you get a Mentor?
Great question Sir.... usually a Mentor gets you... Someone comes along who thinks you have a lot of potential and wants to see you succeed so they provide advice and guidance.. I was fortunate to have a close friend and mentor but he passed in December 2009....
Great question Sir.... usually a Mentor gets you... Someone comes along who thinks you have a lot of potential and wants to see you succeed so they provide advice and guidance.. I was fortunate to have a close friend and mentor but he passed in December 2009....
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CPT (Join to see)
I would agree. I have seen some that are going places. I do what ever I can to offer them assistance and hope they can avoid some of the pitfalls that I have made.
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Sadly, I have been on the side where I have had to ask for advice and receive not so good advice. I have always ended up making my own style based on my experiences with my former/current leaders (good and bad aspects). Because of this, I ensure that I am mentoring my people as best as I can.
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MSG (Join to see)
COL (Join to see) - Sir, thank you. I truly do not want my Soldiers to experience the bad aspects of leaders so I try my best to not be in that category. I know it is going to happen at some point in their tenure, but not under my watch as long as I can help it.
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How do you get a mentor? Several different ways:
- Slow approach. Develop a relationship with a person whose opinion you value. Eventually it turns into a mentor relationship.
- Fast approach. Ask a person to be your mentor.
- Easy approach. Sometimes a mentor finds you and seeks you out to be a mentee.
- Effective approach. You get out of a relationship what you put into a relationship. A mentor-mentee relationship, like a marriage or a friendship, requires consistent and sustained effort by both parties. In other words, getting a mentor is easy, keeping the mentor-mentee relationship is the hard part.
- Slow approach. Develop a relationship with a person whose opinion you value. Eventually it turns into a mentor relationship.
- Fast approach. Ask a person to be your mentor.
- Easy approach. Sometimes a mentor finds you and seeks you out to be a mentee.
- Effective approach. You get out of a relationship what you put into a relationship. A mentor-mentee relationship, like a marriage or a friendship, requires consistent and sustained effort by both parties. In other words, getting a mentor is easy, keeping the mentor-mentee relationship is the hard part.
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