How Have You Struggled?

Ya'll need to fix a broken system. My husband went in for severe depression and they made him wait nearly two months to see someone. THAT IS NOT OK. This is why people are dieing, you treat them like they need to get in line, instead of like they matter.

During my darkest time there were Mental Help Clinics in the neighborhoods. You could just walk in and get help. Political budgets have long done away with those.

I struggle daily to stay here. The lack of prompt healthcare and apathy from the VA are contributing factors. To reduce military suicide, I suggest we give troops the option to quit the service if military life is not for them. It is my opinion that Servicemembers and Veterans commit suicide because we feel like discarded toys that don’t get the proper support. Also, the claims process needs overhaul. I was forced into poverty for 4 years and had to forgive my retro claim to use RAMP which still took 6 months to process. Perhaps that is another cause of Veteran suicide.

Did y’all know that Federal Law provides that VA doctors receive bonuses? Now all workers are entitled to at least a cost-of-living increase annually, but I don’t feel that’s the case here. I’ve been trying for a couple years to find out how those bonuses are determined and I’m hitting brick walls. I feel that if they reduce expenses, they get their bonuses and that’s why they deny us needed diagnostic testing and treatment.

What it boils down to is the VA needs to get its act together and prioritize Veteran claims and healthcare, rather than lining its own pockets. It is more expensive to be disabled and we need support, not the “delay, deny and hope you die” attitude from the very organization that was created to help us. If the VA can’t or won’t help Veterans, then our healthcare should be privatized and the organization should be disbanded in my opinion.

Marijuana, volunteering

I found out after my service as a Patient Care Specialist in the U.S. Army that I have Bipolar Axis II. This was a huge problem until the diagnosis and the correct medication was found to correct this chemical imbalance in my brain. Before I was Manic to the point of being, "God's right-hand man on Earth," to being depressed to the point of being disappointed when I woke up every morning. Praying to die in my sleep like my Maternal Grandfather.

Now that I am on Depakote my mood is just above the happy line. I smile more that I frown and am enjoying my life more than I ever have.

I am so happy with my Veterans Administration Mental Health Team I cannot begin to praise them enough. The PRRC classes offered by Fort Miley have given me a real sense of Empowerment over my life and I would like to thank Mickey Pacheco for his teams' support and training.

I have received support from the HUD-VASH teams just down the block from the VA Downtown Clinic at 401 3rd Street (cross Harrison Street). The entire HUD-VASH team helped me to pull myself up by the bootstraps of my Corcoran's and now after being homeless just last May (2022) I am living in a nice Studio apartment at the Mendelsohn House on Folsom Street here in San Francisco. My HUD-VASH counselor Sarah is amazing and is always there to help me and answer questions.

I started working for Swords to Plowshares and helping my fellow veterans gives me the biggest, and better high that I ever found in my Substance Abuse days.

Thanks to everyone at the VA, PRRC, Mental Health, Primary Care, Specialty Clinics, Swords to Plowshares and everyone else that helped this old veteran get back to the right side of the tracks!

God Bless all of you and your families!

The VA is full of Nazis and anti- melanin immigrants instead of pretending we aren't the most talented group, respect our molecularly superior copper skin, and get over your fake superiority, and persecution. The Va is a place that old racists get to prey on an already under served group of innocent prisoners of war, stop being criminals, that is a start, stop shrugging your shoulders, saying un fortunately , stop being lazy , the va is full of civilians who can't even keep an appointment, let alone tell former leaders who've been through one hell, and forced to burn in another, how about grow a soul, that is a start

What has worked best for me is not to belong to groups. No disrespect, tried group therapy once , I felt worse . Moved on quietly. Been fine ever since . 50 plus years ago.

Every morning I read the daily word on the Bible app. The more I learn about God, the more I know He will Always be there. In the good and the bad times.

I have struggle because as I saw no end in sight with my medical condition and the VA DR's only had there agenda in place...

But through the help of my family,, that what's saved me and I still struggle today....The VA Dr's are not helping because they are the absolute decision makers on my Health at the VA......

After seeing a late night infomercial and seeing someone that was a cause of my mst I began having bad memories and nightmares, I was receiving mental health for anxiety and tremors but wasn’t comfortable speaking to my health provider at the time about the incident, but I did ask for additional help and was just loaded up on more meds, unfortunately those meds made me take a wrong turn and it sent me into a deeper depression, the state I was in was unlike something I had never experienced. I tried and tried to find things to keep me occupied but it didn’t work, my marriage was being affected and my relationship with my children and friends was taking a turn for the worse. I can’t say and I won’t say that I did not think about suicide, I thought about it a lot, and eventually got to that point where I attempted it two different times. I tried blowing my brains out with a 9 mm and the firing pin hit the bullet and it didn’t go off, I was so shaken and upset I never mentioned it to anyone, I tried again two weeks later with my 45 ! I loaded the clip with one round and chambered it, put it up to the side of my head and pulled the trigger, it also printed on the round but did not fire, my wife walked it and flipped out, she called her provider who apparently called my mental health provider and all hell broke loose!! Guess what? It was here!, just take these meds and you’ll be better, it didn’t help, I wasn’t going to test fate again, I can say that now I’m in a way better place and I wish I had made the adjustments earlier! But I can say from the experience that I would have been a statistic with veteran suicide. I speaking to yall from just my experience. I know that when I was reliving the memories and I was having major issues that I did not want to tell anyone, I did not trust anyone either, I didn’t want to reach out for help, I thought I would be better off dead, there would be no pain in my life and my troubles would be over. But that wasn’t the case, I have learned that the crisis line means well and all the doctors are trying there best to help other vets with their issues, but sometimes those who try or accomplish suicide don’t want the help? I didn’t! So I can understand a little bit about what it means to not reach out. I’m not sure how this will help, but plz oh plz talk to someone if you are having issues. There is major changes within the VA for vets that are thinking of committing suicide. So many solutions that I myself never even knew existed. It’s been about 2 yrs since my life was dark and gloomy and I was at a point of no return, but since then I have changed mental health providers, taken some courses that I didn’t want to take but which truly helped me in the long run, im on a steady regimen of meds with no side effects and I have a mental health team that checks on me all the time, and I now know I can reach out for help if I feel the need with absolutely no judgement! If I can help any of my fellow vets, brothers or sisters plz reach out to me. I can say I’ve been there, attempted it and failed thank god, don’t be afraid to ask for help