Twenty Years After the Iraq War: How TMF Has Helped Me Continue Serving

It’s been 20 years - and, in many ways, a lifetime - since the start of the Iraq War in March 2003. As that anniversary approaches, I have found myself reflecting on where I was at that time and all that has occurred since then.

In January 2003, prior to the invasion of Iraq, I was deployed to Kuwait. Like most people, the politics of the war were irrelevant to me. I was called to serve, so I did. I had a duty to my country and my fellow Marines, so I followed through. I didn’t realize at the time that the war would change my life completely.

In early 2004, my brother deployed to Iraq, followed months later by my fiance, both of whom were stationed in heavy combat in the Al Anbar province. On August 17, 2004, my brother died by sniper fire. One day later, on August 18, 2004, my fiance was killed by a roadside improvised explosive device (IED) and never returned home to my son and me. As a result, I dissociated with everything. It didn’t matter what was happening in Iraq anymore; the war felt over to me.

After my separation from active duty and while in the process of grieving and healing, I accepted a position at the Veterans Health Administration (VHA) as a way to continue my service. My goal was to care for those who were fortunate enough to come home. I also regularly volunteered in my community, trying my best to pick up where I left off when it came to serving my country. In 2019, 15 years after my brother and fiance were killed, I found Travis Manion Foundation (TMF): https://rly.pt/TMF

By 2021, I was heavily involved with TMF, participating in Operation Legacy service projects and attending Expeditions that empowered me to connect with others through service. Alongside other veterans and families of the fallen, I helped build a deck for cancer patients, I climbed a mountain, and found a way to fill the void that had existed since the deaths of my brother and fiance. Eventually I was accepted into TMF’s Spartan Leadership Program (SLP), about which you can learn more here: https://rly.pt/tmfslp

Through that immersive, 7-month program, I found a new path through my grief journey. I broke out of the comfort zone I had established and found a community of people I could trust. More importantly, I developed a deeper understanding of myself.

Ultimately, my time with TMF, the connections I’ve built with other veterans and families of the fallen who share my passion for service, has helped me continue making a difference. Despite all the challenges I have experienced personally and all the changes I’ve weathered since the Iraq War, TMF showed me I can still serve. I can still create impact where I am.

It’s also helped develop my resilience. During SLP, I lost a fellow Marine to suicide, and rather than disassociate after that loss, I leaned in. Because of the personal development and growth I had experienced with TMF, I was inspired to rebuild relationships with Marines from our team I had not spoken to in years. We had forgotten how much we needed each other.

The world and our country have changed a lot since the start of the Iraq War, and the same is true for me. But with TMF, I’ve found a way to use my experiences to continue serving, to continue making a difference.

I have served in the U.S. military and would like to learn more about Veteran benefits from the VA: https://rly.pt/3lO6ju4

If you are searching for a path to serve or space for healing, I encourage you to connect with TMF as well. You won’t regret it. Find out more here: https://rly.pt/TMF