Posted on Apr 30, 2021
Seeking Mental Health Services for the First Time
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As a Combat Veteran turned Clinical Social Worker, I can tell you firsthand that
reaching out for mental health assistance is never easy. I started my professional
journey of helping others as a Psychology Technician at a Department of Defense
(DOD) Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) co-facilitating PTSD Groups and Coping
Skills Groups, moved onto community based involuntary inpatient care, and
currently work as an outpatient Therapist at the Steven A. Cohen Military Family
Clinic. With that said, I cannot even begin to estimate the number of times I have
heard the old adages of “Suck it up and drive on,” “Been there done that,” and
“Embrace the suck,” among other mottos and slogans that can get in the way of
getting our emotional and mental health needs met. I’ve seen this in active duty
service members, veterans, and their families; it somehow becomes near
impossible to seek mental health services when we clearly need them.
I understand that we have been trained, retrained, and overtrained to adapt,
improvise, and overcome any challenge through the rigors of military service and/or
deployments, regardless of branch or military occupation. It is something that is
deeply ingrained in us, that no matter how bad things may get, we “should” be able
to get through it because we have either been through worse already, or known of
others who are currently going through it. Family members, friends, and loved ones
of military and veterans also take on these mottos and slogan, and way of life,
these personas of invincibility, because it works to suppress the negative feelings if
we can just avoid it enough.
Well what happens when it doesn’t work?
PTSD is described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) as... let me stop
right there. Pretty sure each and everyone one of you reading this can conduct a
simple Google search on what the symptoms of each of these disorders entail.
Better yet, some of you are living with these symptoms already and don’t need a
book or website to tell you what PTSD, or depression, or anxiety look like. What I will
say is that mental health disorders such as PTSD, anxiety, depression, and
personality disorders are far more commonplace than we were led to believe in the
service, and/or learned from our upbringing and social norms.
One of the most difficult challenges I faced personally, and I continue to see with
the many veterans and family members I serve is the idea that we can cope using
unhealthy methods such as avoidance, to include substance abuse. “Drink [or use
substance] ‘til I can’t feel or remember,” or “If I don’t allow myself to think about it,
it can’t affect me.” Keeping ourselves so busy or so tired that we don’t have enough
time to think about those negative memories or feel those negative emotions will
only work for so long, and it comes with consequences. The idea that we can use
these unhealthy coping mechanisms long-term are ludicrous. Some of the other
excuses or concerns I have heard include “...that your weapons will be taken away;”
that is simply untrue. Or that they are going to lock you up, that again is simply
untrue unless you meet very specific criteria for involuntary mental health
detainment.
Some other themes and patterns I noticed both during my time in service, and since
then, are the incredible amount of DUI’s or other legal trouble, UCMJ, divorces, lost
custody of children, etc. in this same population as direct or indirect result of
negative coping. Some, not all of us struggle with, may have already struggled with,
some or all of the symptoms related to depression, anxiety, PTSD, and/or any
personality disorder, at some point in our life and had it lead to negative outcomes
such as those listed above. Mental health does not discriminate, and it can affect us
All.
When I meet with clients who seem tentative towards implementing cognitive and
behavioral changes, I always ask, “How has that [past coping] worked out for you so
far?” It may seem a candid, and not all will respond positively to my approach
immediately. But most of the time, they will say it’s not working out well, and that’s
why they are here to finally try something different. If we are being honest, some or
all of these symptoms of depression, anxiety, trauma-related or otherwise have
already impacted us and our families negatively, and if we don’t do something to
address it accordingly in a timely manner, it can have catastrophic outcomes for us
and those we love.
Seeking and receiving mental health treatment for the first time, or twentieth, or
long-term should not ever be a negative outcome. It should be applauded as it is a
deliberate, and difficult effort at improving ourselves, our relationships, and
increase our overall functioning. Receiving adequate and regular mental health
services can go a long way towards improving many domains in our lives, whether it
be addressing some horrific trauma(s), improving our depressed and/or
dysregulated mood, reducing anxiety, or simply learning effective coping skills to
manage our day-to-day stressors and chronic symptoms. It can go a long way
towards improving the relationships we may have damaged during our negative
coping cycles or improve your relationship from “good” to “better.” At the bare
minimum, a mental health provider can provide you and your loved ones a place to
communicate with confidentiality – we are legally and ethically bound to protect
your privacy, with very few exceptions.
I’ll sign off with this, if you or someone you know is struggling with their mental
health, ask the question, “How is this working for you so far? If the answer is
negative, please take the time to connect with provider mental health provider near
you. Be selective when choosing your provider as having a good fit is just as
important as making taking the first step. If we are to allow ourselves to disclose
intimate details of our lives and our past, it better be someone I can connect with.
Just don’t go through it alone, now is not the time to Suck It Up and Drive On
anymore.
reaching out for mental health assistance is never easy. I started my professional
journey of helping others as a Psychology Technician at a Department of Defense
(DOD) Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) co-facilitating PTSD Groups and Coping
Skills Groups, moved onto community based involuntary inpatient care, and
currently work as an outpatient Therapist at the Steven A. Cohen Military Family
Clinic. With that said, I cannot even begin to estimate the number of times I have
heard the old adages of “Suck it up and drive on,” “Been there done that,” and
“Embrace the suck,” among other mottos and slogans that can get in the way of
getting our emotional and mental health needs met. I’ve seen this in active duty
service members, veterans, and their families; it somehow becomes near
impossible to seek mental health services when we clearly need them.
I understand that we have been trained, retrained, and overtrained to adapt,
improvise, and overcome any challenge through the rigors of military service and/or
deployments, regardless of branch or military occupation. It is something that is
deeply ingrained in us, that no matter how bad things may get, we “should” be able
to get through it because we have either been through worse already, or known of
others who are currently going through it. Family members, friends, and loved ones
of military and veterans also take on these mottos and slogan, and way of life,
these personas of invincibility, because it works to suppress the negative feelings if
we can just avoid it enough.
Well what happens when it doesn’t work?
PTSD is described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) as... let me stop
right there. Pretty sure each and everyone one of you reading this can conduct a
simple Google search on what the symptoms of each of these disorders entail.
Better yet, some of you are living with these symptoms already and don’t need a
book or website to tell you what PTSD, or depression, or anxiety look like. What I will
say is that mental health disorders such as PTSD, anxiety, depression, and
personality disorders are far more commonplace than we were led to believe in the
service, and/or learned from our upbringing and social norms.
One of the most difficult challenges I faced personally, and I continue to see with
the many veterans and family members I serve is the idea that we can cope using
unhealthy methods such as avoidance, to include substance abuse. “Drink [or use
substance] ‘til I can’t feel or remember,” or “If I don’t allow myself to think about it,
it can’t affect me.” Keeping ourselves so busy or so tired that we don’t have enough
time to think about those negative memories or feel those negative emotions will
only work for so long, and it comes with consequences. The idea that we can use
these unhealthy coping mechanisms long-term are ludicrous. Some of the other
excuses or concerns I have heard include “...that your weapons will be taken away;”
that is simply untrue. Or that they are going to lock you up, that again is simply
untrue unless you meet very specific criteria for involuntary mental health
detainment.
Some other themes and patterns I noticed both during my time in service, and since
then, are the incredible amount of DUI’s or other legal trouble, UCMJ, divorces, lost
custody of children, etc. in this same population as direct or indirect result of
negative coping. Some, not all of us struggle with, may have already struggled with,
some or all of the symptoms related to depression, anxiety, PTSD, and/or any
personality disorder, at some point in our life and had it lead to negative outcomes
such as those listed above. Mental health does not discriminate, and it can affect us
All.
When I meet with clients who seem tentative towards implementing cognitive and
behavioral changes, I always ask, “How has that [past coping] worked out for you so
far?” It may seem a candid, and not all will respond positively to my approach
immediately. But most of the time, they will say it’s not working out well, and that’s
why they are here to finally try something different. If we are being honest, some or
all of these symptoms of depression, anxiety, trauma-related or otherwise have
already impacted us and our families negatively, and if we don’t do something to
address it accordingly in a timely manner, it can have catastrophic outcomes for us
and those we love.
Seeking and receiving mental health treatment for the first time, or twentieth, or
long-term should not ever be a negative outcome. It should be applauded as it is a
deliberate, and difficult effort at improving ourselves, our relationships, and
increase our overall functioning. Receiving adequate and regular mental health
services can go a long way towards improving many domains in our lives, whether it
be addressing some horrific trauma(s), improving our depressed and/or
dysregulated mood, reducing anxiety, or simply learning effective coping skills to
manage our day-to-day stressors and chronic symptoms. It can go a long way
towards improving the relationships we may have damaged during our negative
coping cycles or improve your relationship from “good” to “better.” At the bare
minimum, a mental health provider can provide you and your loved ones a place to
communicate with confidentiality – we are legally and ethically bound to protect
your privacy, with very few exceptions.
I’ll sign off with this, if you or someone you know is struggling with their mental
health, ask the question, “How is this working for you so far? If the answer is
negative, please take the time to connect with provider mental health provider near
you. Be selective when choosing your provider as having a good fit is just as
important as making taking the first step. If we are to allow ourselves to disclose
intimate details of our lives and our past, it better be someone I can connect with.
Just don’t go through it alone, now is not the time to Suck It Up and Drive On
anymore.
Mental Health
Resources
Health
Improvements
PTSD
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 5
SFC Moises Lozacruz Thank you for your insightful post.
How do you approach or respond to your client when they express concern, their seeking treatment will be used against them now at a later time... "Sir you have sought mental health counseling, you're no longer allowed to _______fill in the blank, and that may be from a property manager, law enforcement, state or federal government agency, business or business partner, spouse, ex-spouse or another family member..Further, it may not be a "thing" today, but it's a bell you can't unring.. So getting counseling now can be used against you later.
How do you approach or respond to your client when they express concern that seeking treatment brings with it emotions of failure?
How do you approach or respond to your client when they express concern, their seeking treatment will be used against them now at a later time... "Sir you have sought mental health counseling, you're no longer allowed to _______fill in the blank, and that may be from a property manager, law enforcement, state or federal government agency, business or business partner, spouse, ex-spouse or another family member..Further, it may not be a "thing" today, but it's a bell you can't unring.. So getting counseling now can be used against you later.
How do you approach or respond to your client when they express concern that seeking treatment brings with it emotions of failure?
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MAJ Ken Landgren
I will give you my perspective. I had qualified in tanks at gunnery. One 9mm range in the later part of my career I tried to qualify 4 times and could not. I had always shot expert. I sat on the bleachers and my mind starting thinking. What was good for me and what was good for the army? What was good for the army was for me to hang up my boots. If I cant meet standards then I don't should not serve. It was quite humbling.
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CPT Edward Baker
There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you feel you need it. In fact it is better to seek help when its needed than to just let it go and build up till it destroys a life. Mental health records are sealed and unless it is a major issue it should have no impact on a persons future. I have lived with issues all my life and still had a great career. From my experience it is better to seek help and have that positive support to help you try to deal with it than not.
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SFC Moises Lozacruz
SGM Erik Marquez I try to be understanding and meet my clients "where they're at." It's been my experience that if a service member or veteran is seeking help for this first time, there is still doubt on whether it will actually help (their mental health), or hinder their career and other life domains. I do some limited self-disclosure on how the struggles of PTSD and substance use affected me and my career, my relationships, and where I think it could've been averted or at least made different. I can never promise a client that seeking mental health won't have any other effects I have no control of, but what I can do is that I will protect their confidentiality to the best of my ability, and within what the laws permit. I never add additional diagnosis that may hinder a clients' career unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, and I will explain why I'm diagnosis in such a way. As an example, if I see an active duty service member for couple's counseling, I won't be adding PTSD, depression, or other diagnosis that the person MAY have since that is not what I am treating. I usually will enter a generic diagnosis of "marital conflict" or "relationship distress with spouse or intimate partner." Those won't impact a person's PULHES, or jump status, or ability to handle weapons, etc. The other part I try to instill is that the military won't last forever, and not seeking help will have long-term consequences well beyond his/her military days if not addressed adequately and in a timely manner.
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I agree that reaching out for mental health assistance if never easy. I initially resisted receiving assistance, but later received wonderful services that truly saved my life! So, I am very thankful for mental health services and I am now an avid advocate for them!
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SFC Moises Lozacruz
CPT Richard Trione, I am glad you were able to overcome the many challenges and are now able to advocate for those who need it.
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It's drilled into you from your first day. Sick call is for the weak. Asking for help is for the weak. Problem is those statements are backwards.
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SFC Moises Lozacruz
I agree SGT Lisa Turner. These statements are counterintuitive to good leadership, and yet they continue to be the norm. They happened to us, and/or continue to happen to those in the service now. On my way out of the military, and when I worked on base in a clinical setting, I tried telling as many people about the problem with this on their way out, for them to start changing the trends. Most of us won't seek help while on active duty until we are already on the way out, but not before then. And that may later hurt your VA ratings because you didn't seek help enough. Lose/Lose situations.
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SSG John Oliver
I've never felt that or made to feel that way. Of course the malingering ones caught crap but no one else.
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SGT (Join to see)
SSG John Oliver - From day one in basic that attitude was taught. Only the weak go on sick call or seek help. Doing so lets your comrades down.
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SSG John Oliver
SGT (Join to see) I'm sorry that your leadership let you down. I served in 2 branches and was a professional Infantryman and someone who was hurt was no good to anyone. Sure there might be some grumbling but that's how it goes.
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