Seeking Mental Health Services for the First Time

As a Combat Veteran turned Clinical Social Worker, I can tell you firsthand that
reaching out for mental health assistance is never easy. I started my professional
journey of helping others as a Psychology Technician at a Department of Defense
(DOD) Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) co-facilitating PTSD Groups and Coping
Skills Groups, moved onto community based involuntary inpatient care, and
currently work as an outpatient Therapist at the Steven A. Cohen Military Family
Clinic. With that said, I cannot even begin to estimate the number of times I have
heard the old adages of “Suck it up and drive on,” “Been there done that,” and
“Embrace the suck,” among other mottos and slogans that can get in the way of
getting our emotional and mental health needs met. I’ve seen this in active duty
service members, veterans, and their families; it somehow becomes near
impossible to seek mental health services when we clearly need them.

I understand that we have been trained, retrained, and overtrained to adapt,
improvise, and overcome any challenge through the rigors of military service and/or
deployments, regardless of branch or military occupation. It is something that is
deeply ingrained in us, that no matter how bad things may get, we “should” be able
to get through it because we have either been through worse already, or known of
others who are currently going through it. Family members, friends, and loved ones
of military and veterans also take on these mottos and slogan, and way of life,
these personas of invincibility, because it works to suppress the negative feelings if
we can just avoid it enough.

Well what happens when it doesn’t work?

PTSD is described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) as... let me stop
right there. Pretty sure each and everyone one of you reading this can conduct a
simple Google search on what the symptoms of each of these disorders entail.
Better yet, some of you are living with these symptoms already and don’t need a
book or website to tell you what PTSD, or depression, or anxiety look like. What I will
say is that mental health disorders such as PTSD, anxiety, depression, and
personality disorders are far more commonplace than we were led to believe in the
service, and/or learned from our upbringing and social norms.


One of the most difficult challenges I faced personally, and I continue to see with
the many veterans and family members I serve is the idea that we can cope using
unhealthy methods such as avoidance, to include substance abuse. “Drink [or use
substance] ‘til I can’t feel or remember,” or “If I don’t allow myself to think about it,
it can’t affect me.” Keeping ourselves so busy or so tired that we don’t have enough
time to think about those negative memories or feel those negative emotions will
only work for so long, and it comes with consequences. The idea that we can use
these unhealthy coping mechanisms long-term are ludicrous. Some of the other
excuses or concerns I have heard include “...that your weapons will be taken away;”
that is simply untrue. Or that they are going to lock you up, that again is simply
untrue unless you meet very specific criteria for involuntary mental health
detainment.

Some other themes and patterns I noticed both during my time in service, and since
then, are the incredible amount of DUI’s or other legal trouble, UCMJ, divorces, lost
custody of children, etc. in this same population as direct or indirect result of
negative coping. Some, not all of us struggle with, may have already struggled with,
some or all of the symptoms related to depression, anxiety, PTSD, and/or any
personality disorder, at some point in our life and had it lead to negative outcomes
such as those listed above. Mental health does not discriminate, and it can affect us
All.

When I meet with clients who seem tentative towards implementing cognitive and
behavioral changes, I always ask, “How has that [past coping] worked out for you so
far?” It may seem a candid, and not all will respond positively to my approach
immediately. But most of the time, they will say it’s not working out well, and that’s
why they are here to finally try something different. If we are being honest, some or
all of these symptoms of depression, anxiety, trauma-related or otherwise have
already impacted us and our families negatively, and if we don’t do something to
address it accordingly in a timely manner, it can have catastrophic outcomes for us
and those we love.

Seeking and receiving mental health treatment for the first time, or twentieth, or
long-term should not ever be a negative outcome. It should be applauded as it is a
deliberate, and difficult effort at improving ourselves, our relationships, and
increase our overall functioning. Receiving adequate and regular mental health
services can go a long way towards improving many domains in our lives, whether it
be addressing some horrific trauma(s), improving our depressed and/or
dysregulated mood, reducing anxiety, or simply learning effective coping skills to
manage our day-to-day stressors and chronic symptoms. It can go a long way
towards improving the relationships we may have damaged during our negative
coping cycles or improve your relationship from “good” to “better.” At the bare
minimum, a mental health provider can provide you and your loved ones a place to
communicate with confidentiality – we are legally and ethically bound to protect
your privacy, with very few exceptions.

I’ll sign off with this, if you or someone you know is struggling with their mental
health, ask the question, “How is this working for you so far? If the answer is
negative, please take the time to connect with provider mental health provider near
you. Be selective when choosing your provider as having a good fit is just as
important as making taking the first step. If we are to allow ourselves to disclose
intimate details of our lives and our past, it better be someone I can connect with.
Just don’t go through it alone, now is not the time to Suck It Up and Drive On
anymore.