5 Life Lessons From the NHL Stanley Cup Finals

The puck has dropped on the 2023 Stanley Cup Finals, and, as a Navy veteran and former
hockey player, it’s no surprise to me that the owners of both teams are U. S. Army veterans and graduates of the U. S. Military Academy at West Point.

For the last 20 years of my career, my teams have worked with military men and women
suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety, and overall, they are just struggling with life. 

Last year, after nearly 40 years off the ice myself, I decided to help coach my grandson’s hockey team. USA Hockey has an intense coaching certification process. A process that starts with a lesson called “Safe Sport Training”. Safe Sport Training teaches coaches how to prevent,
recognize, and respond to abuse.  Sadly enough, abuse, specifically child abuse, is a major
contributor to the development of mental health issues later in life. 

After completing Safe Sport Training, you start with level one coaching training. There are four
levels. You also have to take a specialty course on the age’s you coach. I focused on age 10 and under.  One of the key factors I took away from this younger age group training class is the coach’s responsibility to work on developing players Competence, Confidence, and Motivation. One thing that life has taught me to this point is that these attributes are great for dealing with life both on and off the ice.

Many of my friends and colleagues believe that one of the last bastions of character training is found within the military. I agree, and would add the sport of ice hockey to the list. I believe
that both institutions teach young men and women how to live life with a sense of honor,
integrity, purpose, fortitude, and cooperation. In other words, character.
Character is the mental and moral qualities you demonstrate. Character is your persona. My
dad always said that you only leave two things behind on earth when you die: your children and your reputation. Your reputation is created by your character, which shows up in your
thoughts, feelings, and actions.

One way to witness character of NHL hockey players is to watch their interviews. You never
hear the word “I”, even when reporters question individuals about their game, the answer
always starts with “we, our, or the team”. The character of hockey players is also demonstrated by the traditional end of game handshake; a tradition that is taught to children and embraced by players at all levels. Interestingly, you generally don’t see this in the NBA, NFL, or MLB. In fact, you often see the complete opposite where players pout and cry on their way back to their locker rooms.

Character and good sportsmanship shown on the ice is equally important in how you show up for life and can help you persevere through life’s struggles. Here are 5 lessons you can learn from NHL players that can contribute to a good life:

1. A COMMITMENT TO PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: As we point out in our book, Lead Well:
10 Steps to Successful and Sustainable Leadership, leading yourself is the first step in showing
up as the best version of you. Those that don’t show up as the best versions of themselves will not win and won’t be of much help to those around them. Self-awareness is critical to your development and success. The most selfless thing you can do is work on yourself daily to
become the best that you can be.

2. RESPECT: Treat others with dignity and fairness, even in the most competitive of
situations. Be gracious in both victory and defeat and respect your opponents. We believe that you become the average of the 3-5 people you spend the most time with. An NHL hockey line of 5 players moves and communicates together with speed and accuracy. Being respectful of others may be the best superpower you can have. Embrace your 3-5, communicate clearly by saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and not saying it meanly.

3. DEDICATION: Our mantra at Boulder Crest Foundation is “life is not hard, it’s just hard
work”. Work ethic, open-mindfulness, continual improvement through practice and dedication
to a mission to your family, business, or team ensures you are successful. Work hard, play hard, and continually learn from your mistakes. You rarely see players end up in the penalty box twice for the same call.

4. TEAMWORK: One of my favorite universal truths is the African Proverb – “if you want to
go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”. Life is a marathon and often comes with
long periods of overtime. Be prepared for a long haul. Create you own traditions that celebrate both victories and defeats within your (3-5) close circle of family and friends. Be humble, be grateful, and check your ego to help avoid arrogance. Remember, very few important accomplishments in life are completed in a vacuum. It takes the support, encouragement, and shared purpose with others to achieve true greatness. NHL Hall of Famer Wayne Gretzky summed it up best – “Hockey is a unique sport in the sense that you need each and every guy helping each other and pulling in the same direction to be successful.”

5. MANAGING ADVERSITY: Hockey players face numerous challenges, including injuries,
losses, and setbacks. The average NHL career is 4.5 years…then what. The principles of
Post traumatic Growth suggest that if we can find meaning from life’s challenges, we can grow from the experiences. NHL players, more than any group that I have encountered, seem to have a keen ability to handle adversity with dignity and maintain positivity in the most difficult of times.

I believe that by observing and emulating the qualities and behaviors above, and others that
you see during the Stanley Cup Playoffs, you can learn to be a good and strong person in your
daily life.



Ken Falke is Chairman and Founder of Boulder Crest Foundation, an organization
focused on the teachings of post traumatic growth. For more information, go to https://rly.pt/BoulderCrest

To learn more about Post Traumatic Growth, go to https://rly.pt/PostTraumaticGrowth