WoVeN Series Week 7: Esteem

Week seven focuses on esteem using the puzzle handout we ask the group members to take some time to fill out the white puzzle pieces. These represent how we view ourselves and then we next complete the shaded area of the puzzle followed by discussion questions. The goals for meeting seven are to reflect on the ways in which we tend to view ourselves, to be able to share with others the positive things we have observed about them and to compare how we view ourselves to the way others view us. We accomplish these goals through a development of an appreciation for the full range of human beings’ strengths and weakness and recognition of tendencies (shared by all of us) to rely only on first impressions, to mind- read or to jump to conclusions based on little or no information.

Being that week seven is the second to last meeting, group members, by this time feel more comfortable with one another. Making the content for this meeting based around how group members see themselves and how they see one another. We all have many layers none of us are just a single dimension nor can we be described with one word. As stated, before in meeting seven we reflect on how we view ourselves and others in other words, we will consider our self-esteem and the esteem we have for others.

When discussing the white pieces, we are ideally trying to find themes and commonalities in the group with lots of interaction. Some discussion questions we use to keep the conversation going in a positive direction are:

I Am a…
Is there one answer that defines you?
-Which one is your most public face to the world?
The pieces of me that are most public are…
-Why are these the most public?
Have you found that your public self has changed over the years? Why?
3 areas of growth for me are…
If you had to choose one as most important, what would it be?
My greatest moment or accomplishment is…
-Who specifically makes this moment great?
-Who shared this moment with you?
The pieces of me that are hidden are…
-Why are these hidden?
-What would happen if someone saw these pieces of you revealed?
My favorite parts of myself are...
-Why are these parts you favorite?
-Are you able to share these parts with those around you who are important to you?

After discussing these questions, we move on to the shaded pieces of the puzzle which focus on the positive qualities and strengths of our fellow group members. Each group member is to write down every member name and write down the positive strengths and qualities you have observed over the last two months. We then take a few minutes to talk about what we wrote about one another after we use the discussion questions, and some examples are:

General questions:
-How did this feedback make you feel?
-Was there anything that surprised you?

Questions about self-esteem:
- Do you find yourself dismissing peoples’ positive attention?
-What sorts of things do you do?
-Ignore it or changing the topic?
-Disagree with some or all of what they’ve said?
-Nervous laughing or smiling?
-Why do you think we can be so quick to dismiss others’ positive attention?

Questions about esteem for others:
-How often do you tell people when they’ve done something that has made a positive impression on you?
--Why are we sometimes hesitant to do this? What are the risks, what are the benefits?

Esteem is another one of my favorite themes because it helps for us to build one another up, realize how we see ourselves and if we need work in a couple of areas. Self-esteem is made up primarily of two things: feeling lovable and feeling capable. Jack Canfield

Read weeks 1&2 here: http://rly.pt/3vSR8QZ
Read week 3 here: https://rly.pt/3vQfWZL
Read week 4 here: https://rly.pt/2PynCiY
Read week 5 here: https://rly.pt/3teePS7
Read week 6 here: https://rly.pt/3dsOVVc
To get more information on WoVen and how you can become a WoVen member visit: https://www.wovenwomenvets.org/